My Name is Bond....

When I was kid I wanted to be James Bond. Yes! He of the “My name is Bond...James Bond” fame. And why exactly did I want to be like Ian Fleming’s super-spy creation? Perhaps it was the guns, the uber cool cars, the charm, the suave dapper of the iconic character, or maybe the not so subtle hints that women fell at his feet (including the female villains who wanted a taste of the man before doing away with him!) So I prayed that by some twist of fate I would find myself working for the British Secret Service or MI6, where I would be trained as a super-spy  imbued with a wide range of skills from being a sharpshooter to an excellent skier, diver and skydiver capable of manning any land, sea vehicle or aircraft known to man including space ships. I would always look sharply dressed in the best that Savile Row had to offer, while saving the world, necktie and cuff-links still in place. Sigh.

However, by the time I hit 16 I gave up on my dream, with reality biting me in the right places.

And just how did my love for the world’s most iconic fictional character begin? I was about six when I saw my first Bond film. I had the unforgettable pleasure of watching Goldfinger at my uncle’s house in Warri. Many would agree that there is no better Bond movie to begin the series with than Goldfinger, which went on to become the template on which all the subsequent Bond films were based. My uncle had about four Bond films in his collection of VHS cassettes. I am willing to bet that James Bond was the reason he named his last child, my cousin, James.

Having been bitten by the bug in Warri, I discovered that my new neighbour back home had a collection of Bond films. In addition, a cousin and her family moved down the road from ours, who had all the Bond movies that my neighbour did not. I was in heaven. My weekends and holidays were filled with watching and re-watching the films I had access to. Thus, my love for James Bond and everything he stood for grew.

And what exactly did James Bond stand for? Even in my young mind, I understood that he was that emblem of huMAN freedom, a bastion against the enemies of freedom and liberty. He was the good guy, a veritable weapon against the axis of evil (East or West). He never dies; he kills the bad guy and gets several women on the way. He was a man’s man. So confident in his abilities that he rarely used an alias: “The name’s Bond....” I mean what kind of spy goes around telling everyone who he is?! A super duper spy, that is!

I was awed by the gadgets and the cars provided by Q Branch. I mean, a CAR EJECTOR SEAT!! A car that transformed into a boat!! A wristwatch with lasers! Little wonder he never dies! His fighting skills until recently were a form of art, from Sean Connery to Roger Moore, he never seemed to break a sweat while in the throes of danger. Pierce Brosnan’s Bond brought a lot more physicality to the role but he still never seemed to get a hair out of place! Bond’s fighting was like ballet (don’t touch me! Don’t “dirty” my shirt!), and like a certain Argentine with a football at his feet, it seemed effortless. Daniel Craig’s Bond on the other hand is Bond with the rough edges, before the smoothing out and touching up. With him Bond is brutal and hard. Efficient. Real. However, he still looks good doing it! In the preview of Skyfall, there is a clip that shows Bond following an explosion, jumping into a dissected train carriage and yet still taking the time to adjust his shirt cuffs and jacket before walking off! SWAG! Come on!!

Indeed, each and every actor who had the good fortune of playing 007 brought his own interpretation and unique qualities to the role. 

Roger Moore, the third Bond as my fellow Bond aficionado and friend Tosan would say was a comedian and an “ashawo”, which in Yoruba refers to a man that likes and chases women a little too much. I mean Bond is the consummate lover but Moore’s Bond seemed to enjoy the women a lot more than the rest, with the way his baby blues would light up upon seeing a beautiful woman. Moore’s funny innuendos and double entendres were unforgettable, in this regard only Pierce Brosnan came close. 

Tim Dalton, the fourth actor to play Bond, was easily the most business-like of them all. His Bond did not have time for flirtations. He was grim and serious, a cold blooded superspy. 

Daniel Craig, the actor who introduced Bond to a new generation of movie watchers is in many ways like Timothy Dalton. Critics and James Bond experts agree that both of them closely resemble in character Ian Fleming’s description of 007. Dalton’s Bond is not judged to be the most popular but he is well appreciated by the critics. It is important to note that Dalton’s Bond movies: License To Kill and The Living Daylights marketing were hampered by budget constraints suffered by Eon Productions. In all the Welsh man did a very good job.

George Lazenby the least known Bond is just that, the least known Bond, and maybe the handsomest of the lot.

Pierce Brosnan looks like he was born to play Bond. The Irishman certainly looked and played the part so well that when Goldeneye was released we kinda forgot that other actors had played the role before him. Goldeneye (sans the opening airplane-catching scene) was a very good reintroduction of Bond and some real British superspy intelligence to fans who had been starved for six long years.

But the Bond of them all is Sir Sean Connery. Don’t get me wrong, he is not "the best Bond" neither is he my favourite Bond, however he as the blueprint very successfully introduced Ian Fleming’s James Bond to the big screen. Just imagine if Dr. No, From Russia With Love and Thunderball had been crap (please note that Thunderball, released in 1965, is recorded as the most financially successful Bond film.) we probably would not have gotten as many Bond movies as we now have. So if Roger Moore was the playboy, Dalton the grim one, Brosnan the fine yet skilled one and Craig the rough one, then Connery was all in one, the complete Bond who had all the characteristics aforementioned.

And it is these characteristics that made me want to be Bond. In my mind he was the complete man: super smart, sexy, a gentleman, a playboy, a great lover, a fighter. James Bond, who achieved the rank of Commander in the Royal Navy, speaks several languages, dresses better than Prince Charles, Tony Blair and Puff Daddy combined, can man numerous vehicles and aircrafts, skis, bungee jumps, skydives, water dives, dates numerous exotic women (without catching an STD!), kills the bad guy no matter how the odds are stacked against him and always saves the day! That is my definition of a man, the man deep down inside I still want to be.

So as the world celebrates 50 years of the original super spy, Ian Fleming’s James Bond “007” and 23 great movies, we say thank you to Mr. Fleming, Albert R. Broccoli, Harry Saltzman (who bought the rights to the Bond books) Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson for continuing to make us happy, Eon Productions, Monty Norman for the iconic theme, John Barry for the music over the years, the various scriptwriters who weaved fantastic plots, and actors who played the unforgettable villains –Auric Goldfinger, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Jaws, Mr. Scaramanga, Le Chiffre, Dr. No, Max Zorin, Mr. Kananga etc, the actresses who played the beautiful Bond girls – Honey Rider, Pussy Galore, Jinx, Domino, Solitaire, Kissy Suzuki, Teresa di Vicenzo aka Mrs. Bond, Tiffany Case, Xenia Onatopp, Wai Lin, Paris Carver, Anya Amaosva, Holly Goodhead, Mary Goodnight, May Day, Kara Milovy, Elektra, Vesper Lynd etc, Miss Monneypenny, Q the Quartermaster and finally to Sean, George, Roger, Tim, Pierce and Daniel.

Thank you guys, thank you!

And oh yeah....Daniel Craig is my favourite Bond! :)