Prose: Eloho

“Sooo long…bitch you did me so wrong!

 I don’t wanna go on,

Livin’ in this world without you!”

                                - Marshall Mathers

Each time Eloho played Eminem’s The Marshall Mathers LP album his mind would go back to that day, that day when everything changed. Whether for good or bad he was never sure. Some would argue that it was for good, others would have taken the contrary position. But what was done was done, and did he have any regrets? He most definitely did.

It was his last day before going back to school at the University of Benin aka Uniben. The localised strike had just been called off so his two week “break” was over. The school had been shut down over an industrial action carried out by the non-teaching staff who as usual were clamouring for one benefit or the other. He was tired of it all and after staying idly in school for two weeks he had gone home to Lagos. He did not understand why lectures had to be affected really but after a week of non-teaching support the lecturers had simply not turned up. Who was going to maintain the classrooms, clean the lavatories and carry out the other more serious admin roles in the school? It was a good reason to go home and he took it.

He had things to do, friends to see and things to catch up on. Inasmuch as his school was his pride and joy, Benin offered little comparatively to the action of Lagos. So his two weeks had been spent eating free food from his mum’s kitchen, watching movies and visiting friends. One friend in particular was important to him – Henrietta. Henrietta or Henri was his girlfriend of two years and he was totally in love with her. They had met while they were both waiting for admission into the university, during that period people called “University of House”, the one year between graduation from secondary school to university admission. For some more unfortunate, it took longer than a year, sometimes even up to four years - JAMB and O-Level exams were not known for their lack of difficulty.

For him it had been love at first sight. For her, a gradual coming into love as some teenage girls are wont to do.  They had been together for two years save for a brief breakup when they both ended up in different schools. She had gone to Lagos, University of Lagos (Unilag) and so they thought the best thing to do was to break up given the long distance. But after a semester apart one missed the other so much that they decided to make it work, and try they did. The past year things had been great given the time apart and they made up for it with long phone calls and even longer letters. The phone calls were murder on the pocket for him, but hey true love comes at a price, he told himself. 

So during this break period he had tried to see her as often as possible given her classes, three times so far. Just because his school’s non-academic staff were on strike did not suddenly mean that the rest of the country’s ivory towers would grind to a halt as well.

Eloho had had some last minute running around to do which involved picking up a few items and stopping by at Unilag to say his goodbyes to his friends and his babe Henri. He took a bus to Yaba Bus Stop and from there got on the Unilag campus bus shuttle service. Once on campus he located his bosom buddy's room. Pedro shared a BQ (Boys’ Quarters) room with a classmate in the senior staff quarters. Eloho had settled down and after the usual pleasantries had produced a bootleg copy of Eminem’s The Marshal Mathers LP. The other two guys in the room went nuts. The whole world had been waiting for Eminem aka Slim Shady real name Marshal Mathers to release his sophomore effort. His first album The Slim Shady LP was ill! For a white dude, Eminem could rap…his flow, word play, punch lines, and pop culture references were out of this world. He had given the established rap stars a run for their money and the rap and hip-hop community and indeed the world had taken notice of this white boy from Detroit.

“Eloho! How?! Where did you get this from?!”

Eloho grinned. “I know a guy.”

Pedro snatched the CD from his hand and began to scrutinise it.

“I picked it up from my audio CD guy on my way here. He said it just came to the market and this was one of the few copies available”, Eloho continued.

“Have you sampled it?”

“No, not really, I just listened to the intro and The Real Slim Shady track on my Discman. I was waiting for you guys.”

Pedro’s roommate, Chinedu boomed, “Abeg, let’s jam this CD!!!”

The white disc with the reverse “E” was slot into one of the trays of the Philips 3-loader VCD/CD player.

“This is a Public Service Announcement brought to you….”

Over an hour later the three boys were numb with awe. What had they just listened to? The Marshal Mathers LP was a couple of light years ahead of Em’s first album. Where he had been psychotically petulant in a white boy but brilliant rap way in The Slim Shady LP, Em had matured greatly, successfully transforming the previous drug related theme into one of seething rap rage against the success the machine had brought him. Where he had attacked himself, his mum and his wife in the first album, in this effort he attacked everyone else while going up quite a few more notches in his attacks to his mum and wife.

The trio were speechless. They had listened to Stan almost ten times. The message was one for the ages, who else had come close? The entire album was one giant pulsating middle finger but the craft and skill were undeniable.

With that album echoing in their ears, Eloho and Pedro walked towards Henri’s hall of residence hoping to get a cab. Eloho had just one more stop to make before heading home. He was going to see his girl and kiss her goodbye.

Moremi Hall was the premier female hall of residence in Unilag. For one to have entered even for five minutes was a feat not many guys could boast of. The supposedly finest and “it” Unilag girls lived there. Eloho did not get what the fuss was all about really. In his school, the “it” girls nay students lived not in the halls of residence but in the senior staff quarters or off campus in privately owned hostels that were mostly co-ed. But the standing of Moremi Hall was not fully lost on him. The kind of girls that walked in and out of that place would turn heads in his school. The women were fine, all of them. So it was with a sense of pride that he acknowledged the fact that his babe lived there. She was up there with the school’s top percentile of babes.

Eloho and Pedro got out of the cab they had taken from the beginning of Pedro’s street. It was about 7pm and the car park was already getting filled up with boys in their own or their parents’ cars. What a show! Eloho thought to himself. These kids really knew how to separate the classes and he was not referring to the years. Uniben had rich kids and there were students from different backgrounds and classes but it was never exhibited deliberately nor obnoxiously like it was done in Unilag. No wonder a lot of these kids have complexes, he thought. He spotted a smallish girl in the smallest pair of shorts he had ever seen standing next to a guy fully kitted in a sweatshirt, baggy jeans, a baseball hat and bat to boot. Hip hop lives!!!

The two friends walked into Moremi Hall and headed for Block C. Eloho had told Henri that he would be coming so he was sure that she would be in. They climbed up two flights of stairs and walked down the corridor to the right. He could find his way to her room blindfolded. They stopped in front of 208 and knocked. He hoped that her room would not be too full today. Moremi Hall was hopelessly crowded with a 4-woman room becoming a 10-woman one. The porters turned a blind eye to the rules and deep pockets to the squatters as demand far exceeded supply. Who no wan be Moremi babe?

A tall dark girl with a screaming white towel walked past him as he waited. She was quite pretty and the towel only outlined her lovely physique. Eloho and Pedro smiled to each other with a knowing look. That was the thing, there were so many beautiful women in the world, both in Lagos and in Benin but he had eyes for only one. No one could match his babe. Henri was that chocolatey brown skin, slender, with the loveliest almond-shaped eyes and a girl’s body that had grown into and wore its womanhood proudly. She was pretty and people were beginning to notice. But Eloho did not care; he had no fear for she was his. He recalled their many walks in their first year, the endless telephone calls, the hours of fevered making out. He had found someone he could be with. There was never a “just there” moment for every second was golden. He loved her and she loved him. Their relationship was near perfect, it was only the long distance that plagued it.

“Who is it?” a girl asked from within.

“Hi, I’d like to see Henrietta please.”

There was a cough then footsteps. The door was opened by one of Henri’s roommates. Eloho could not remember her name so he just smiled and said hi. Roommate smiled back at him. “Hi, is Henrietta in?” The roommate pulled her head away and looked back into the room. After receiving the go-ahead from Henri, the roommate allowed them in.

Eloho stepped into the room with Pedro right behind him and spotted Henri sitting on her bunk at the far side of the room. As they navigated to her bunk while saying hello to the other women in the room, he noticed that there was a guy sitting in Henri’s bunk. A slight frown came to his face but it was quickly gone when Henri walked up to him.

“Hi,” Eloho greeted Henri with a smile.

Henri smiled back and returned his greeting.

“I hope I’m not too late?”

“No, it’s ok; I just got in from class not too long ago.”

Pedro coughed.

“Oh Pedro hi, I didn’t see you there.” Henri said with a wave.

Pedro waved back.

Eloho looked at the guy seated on Henri’s bed. The dude was portly but tall about his height. Then he remembered him. What was that his name again? Uche. Yeah he had first met him at Henri’s best friend’s birthday party. Then he had met him again at a beach thing Henri had taken him to. Eloho had even spotted him driving down Henri’s street as he left her house during the last semester break. Hmmm…what was going on here?

“Eloho you remember Uche?” Henri said by way of introduction.

“Guy how far?” Eloho greeted.

“Nothing much” Uche responded.

Pedro just waved.

“Look guys, let me check on someone in 311. I’ll be back in a bit.” Pedro exited.

Eloho checked his watch. It was getting late and he did not have much time. He had one more stop to make before heading home.

He took Henri’s hand and pulled her, “Look I can’t stay long. Can we talk outside?”

Eloho walked out to the corridor as Henri spoke briefly to her other guest. She soon joined him.

“What’s up with this Uche guy?” he asked.

“Who Uche? He’s just a friend.”

“Really? Does he stop by often?”

“No, not really. Just once in a while.”

“Really? But I know that he doesn't go to school here.”

“Yeah but you know Tope in my class? Well he’s good friends with Uche. That’s how I met him. He gives some of us a lift sometimes.”

“Okay.”

Eloho was tired. It had been a long day and he wasn't really there to fight. He just wanted to spend a few precious moments with his girl before he left for school the next day.

“I've missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

He looked into her eyes and all the apprehension and suspicion disappeared. They talked for a while, about twenty minutes. Saying whatever lovers say to each other at moments like these. Uche did not come out of the room.

“Which kain guy be dis?” Eloho thought to himself. “Can’t he use his church mind and take his leave?” He really had not expected to be standing on the corridor talking to his girlfriend for this long. The Bro Code demanded that Uche having been deferred to initially would politely take his leave after a couple of minutes if not immediately. The guy had obviously not been schooled properly. These “Lag” boys sef! But wait o, dude was not even in the school!

A few minutes later Pedro returned and found both of them talking on the corridor. Strange. Well maybe they wanted to whisper sweet nothings to each other and did not want others overhearing. Pedro kept a respectable distance, waving and saying hi to the odd girl who passed by that he knew.

Eloho was a bit disappointed. He wanted their parting to be extra-special but apparently it could not be helped. Time was going and he had to be on his way.

“I got to go.”

Henri sighed a little. “Okay, let me see you off then.”

Eloho made to go but turned and poked his head into Henri’s room.

“I’m off,” he said to her roommates.

“Bye!!!” they chorused.

“Chief, I’m off.”

Uche just nodded and smiled at him.

Was that a sneer? Eloho wondered. Nah! His mind was playing tricks on him. Dude was harmless. Henri loved him and no one was going to change that.

The three of them walked to the gates of Moremi. Pedro gave them space as the two love birds stood talking. He expected them to spend a few more minutes for Eloho and Henri were known among their friends for their long goodbyes. Not this time.

“Pedro, I’ll see you later,” Henri said as she turned and walked back into her hostel.

Eloho followed her with his eyes.

“What was that bro?”

“I don’t know o. I wanted to hug and kiss her goodbye and she said no.” Eloho said with some surprise in his voice.

“Really?!” Pedro laughed.

Eloho looked at Pedro. “Yeah, she said she’s shy, you know PDA and all.”

Pedro looked at his friend, “Would this be your first time of hugging her goodbye here?”

The answer was no.

“Look Eloho I’ve seen that guy quite a few times with Henri oh, forming picking her up and dropping her off. You never know but I don’t trust that dude!”

Eloho turned and began to walk away slowly. He was confused; this was not the Henri he knew. Why was she acting strangely? He looked around the car park. Rich kids in their cars and co-eds. He spotted the small pretty girl with her hip-hop boyfriend. He closed his eyes and the events of the last hour or so flashed through his mind. He stood still for a good ten seconds with his eyes closed. When he opened them, he saw red.

Eloho walked up to Mr. Hip-Hop.

“Homez can I borrow your bat for one second please?”

Eloho took the offered bat and headed back into Moremi.

“Eloho wait!!”

“All is fair in love and war.” Those were the words in his ears as he bounded up to room 208. This time he did not knock but opened the door himself. He saw Henri laughing at something funny Porky Pig had said. In four steps he was across the room baseball bat in hand. Roommates made way while Henri and Uche only noticed him at the last moment getting up at the same time.

“Eloho what are doing?!”

“Henri step aside please.”

Henrietta nimbly moved aside as Uche tried to look for a way out. No luck. However Uche’s frantic movements were misconstrued as aggressive as Eloho somehow swung the bat within the tight confines of the room hitting Uche hard on the arm.

Crack! Uche yelled in pain grabbing his arm.

Henrietta screamed.

“Eloho stop!!!"

“No, it’s okay, I just want to ask him a few questions. Ehen, Chief, what exactly are you doing with my girl? Shey you know we are going out….as in we are in an exclusive relationship, dating and all?”

Uche did not answer but glowered in pain.

“You don’t want to answer now abi; you’re forming bad guy?” Eloho ran the bat into Uche’s midsection. As Uche bent over in pain Eloho smashed the bat across his face.

Blood spewed forth.

Henrietta screamed.

The roommates ran out of the room. Pedro ran in and tried to restrain his friend. He had never seen Eloho like this before.

“Eloho please stop! Please!” Henrietta begged.

Eloho turned to look at Henrietta. He dropped the baseball bat and walked towards her as she stood shaking. He reached out for her and she shrank back afraid.

Eloho smiled at her wryly, “I would never ever hurt you Henri. But I needed to teach him a lesson. I couldn’t just stand there and watch him steal you away.” Eloho looked down at the groaning Uche. “He would have if I had done nothing.”

Tears came to Eloho’s eyes and Henri’s heart melted. She grabbed him and held him tight.

“I love you so much Eloho. I swear I do!”

“I love you too Henri,” Eloho responded as they held each other tight as voices of authority approached.

This was the way it was meant to be. Two hearts, first love, forever love.

*********************************************

“Eloho! Eloho!!” Pedro called.

Eloho opened his eyes.

“Did you hear what I just said? He comes around campus with Tope but he’s definitely interested in Henri. I’ve seen them together a few times.”

Eloho shook his head. 

“Nah, it’s cool. She says they are just friends and he’s just being helpful. She can have friends can’t she?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really! I trust Henri.”

“Okay cool, no problem then.”

“Bro I have to head. I’ll see you when next I'm around.”

The two friends hugged each other goodbye.

Eloho got into the cab that would take him to the university gate and from there he would find his way home. Discman in hand, he began to listen to Kim as the taxi carried him and three others to the gate. He would return to Unilag a few more times but that was the last time he would step into Moremi Hall.

Prose: I Love You, Always

“Loved you yesterday,

Love you still,

Always have, Always will.”

-          Anon

Tonye cruised along Ozumba Mbadiwe Avenue; it was about 8:45pm and the traffic was light that Wednesday evening given the time of day. It had been a hectic day at work at Blue Moon Ad Agency or BMAd as people liked to call it. With a deadline to meet it had been a series of back-and-forth since Friday when the client had dropped an ad-hoc request on them, no notice, no elbow room, nothing. Well he was glad it was over, at least until the next “kati-kati-kati” as he liked to call these unplanned emergency briefs. He looked ahead at the traffic lights as they began to change from green to red. He was two cars away from the intersection. Should he stop or try to beat the lights? He decided on the former, there was no rush. He slowed to a stop as the car in front of him raced on. He looked to his right and saw a construction truck accelerating down the perpendicular Adetokunbo Ademola Street hurrying to beat that ever so quickly changing traffic light.

He turned his head to the left toward the beautifully lit Civic Centre and as he did so he heard the sound of the SUV’s engine and then the screeching of its brakes as it ploughed into his Toyota Corolla from behind. The next thing he knew he was being pushed onto the path of the oncoming construction truck. His foot had been on the brakes and the car in neutral but the brakes of the Corolla were no match for the SUV’s force. The truck hit the right fender of his car and sent it spinning out of control. Tonye said a silent prayer as his body was sent spinning at the same speed and force as his car. He willed the car to stop and just when it seemed that it would he felt another forceful jolt as another car rammed into him. The next thing he saw was blackness.

***************************************

“Tonye”. The voice was familiar.

“Tonye”. He knew that voice. It was female and very reassuring, full of love and earnest hope.

“Tonye”, she called him again.

He opened his eyes and looked up. It was Ifeoma looking down at him as he lay there. She had a look of worry mixed with relief on her face. He tried to smile but immediately felt a bolt of pain everywhere. He tried to call her name as he blacked out.

***************************************

Tonye heard quiet voices. They seemed far away but he guessed that they were nearby. He tried to determine the speakers but could not. Was Ifeoma one of the speakers? He lay still and tried to listen.

“He’ll be fine eventually.”

“Please sir, help him!”

“Don’t worry madam, we’re doing our best and he’ll be well in no time and back to his feet in a few months with the proper physiotherapy.”

That must be the doctor, Tonye said to himself. They must be talking about him. He tried to open his eyes but the light was too bright. A small groan escaped him as he passed out again.

***************************************

“Tonye, Tonye you have to wake up.” It was Ifeoma. “You have to! Stop lying down here feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone is worried because you haven’t woken up.” He felt tired. He needed to sleep some more. Ifeoma should leave him alone. He tried to fall deeper into the depths of sleep-filled bliss.

“Tonye! It’s been three days since the battle to save your life! Wake up my friend!!!” Ifeoma clapped her hands at him and his eyes sprung open. Instinctively he shut them against the bright lights. A throbbing pain erupted in his head. He slowly opened his eyes as the ceiling lights came into view. He lay still for a bit until his eyes grew accustomed to the brightness. He perceived the slight smell of bleach and disinfectant. Yup, definitely a hospital. He moved his eyes around and noticed that his left leg was in a cast and elevated in traction. His head was bandaged and he felt pain on the left side of his body. He grunted and breathed slowly to ease it. He looked around for Ifeoma but she was not in his room. He noticed a clock on the wall. A quarter past nine; but he could not tell whether it was daytime or night time. She should be here waiting for him to wake up or wasn’t she the one that woke him up? He took in his surroundings. He was the only one in the recovery room as the second bed was bare.  He waited. Someone would come soon he thought -  the doctor, a nurse or Ifeoma.

“Ah! Mr. Tonye! You’re awake! Praise be to God Almighty!!” 

Tonye looked to the door, it was a nurse. 

“How are you feeling?” 

He tried to smile. The nurse prodded and checked the dials and monitors and clucked in satisfaction. 

“Let me go and get Dr. Alabi.”

Dr. Alabi was an efficient looking man with a kind disposition. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

“Ah! Tonye, it’s good to have you back. You had us worried for a minute. How do you feel?” 

Tonye tried to speak and his voice came out in a raspy tone. “Matron, please give the patient a sip of water”, the doctor directed. Tonye sipped some water from the offered plastic cup.

“Tired, weak. What happened?” Tonye asked.

“All in good time but you are very fortunate. Thank God for saving you because it could have been much worse.” Tonye closed his eyes as he recalled the screaming of brakes.

“Your internal injuries are healing nicely and you are responding to treatment. The pains and occasional numbness should ease in time. You’re a fit young man and so your body should recover very nicely.” Tonye glance at his leg. 

“Yes, you suffered a multiple fracture on your left leg caused by the second impact, but we’ve set it and put it in a cast. You’ll require a few sessions of physiotherapy once it has healed nicely.” Dr. Alabi offered by way of explanation.

“Again you are a very lucky man. Lucky to be alive; very few people would have survived that bad accident. So give thanks to God.”

Tonye closed his eyes and said a brief prayer of thanksgiving to the Almighty. He opened his eyes and wondered where Ifeoma was. Why wasn’t she here?

As if reading his mind Dr. Alabi said, “Your wife had to go home to rest. She had been here since Wednesday night, for four days. Once we knew you were out of the woods we asked her to go get some rest. We didn’t want her breaking down too.”

Tonye nodded in understanding and closed his eyes. Sleep called.

“Ok young man. We’ll see you tomorrow morning. Matron will check up on you all through the night to make sure you are okay.” Tonye smiled his thanks and fell asleep as Dr. Alabi walked out.

********************************

Tonye opened his eyes slowly as he became fully awake. His eyes hit the clock on the wall. It was 9 o’clock. A.M. he guessed. He looked around the room. The room was empty but there was a woman’s handbag on the chair next to his bed. He looked to the door and he could just make out a woman’s frame through the frosted glass. She seemed to be talking to a doctor. He waited. He suddenly felt sorry for Ifeoma. The whole experience must have been hard and traumatic for her, much more than it must have been for him as he had been blissfully unconscious throughout the ordeal of patching him up. He strained to catch what they said.

“So you’d have to take it easy on him. He should be discharged in a couple of weeks after his injuries have healed nicely. The stitches on his face will be removed in a couple of days or so. Thank God he’s recovered from the concussion, his vitals are almost normal but I think we might have to wait until he can talk well before we give the final thumbs up. And yes, he will have to undergo physiotherapy when his leg is healed. So in all let’s say six to eight weeks.”

Tonye raised his right hand to touch his face. He winced a little as he felt the smarting of his flesh. He continued and traced the outline of the facial stiches on his left temple down to his cheek. Hmmm….Scarface. He then tried to wriggle his toes; those on his right feet responded and the ones on his raised left leg managed a slight response. He then closed his eyes and tried to feel out his entire body, telekinetically testing his parts and organs. 

He opened his eyes and looked at Ifeoma. He could only make out what seemed to be her brown bubu dress. He smiled to himself; that brown bubu dress that she saved for trips to the market or whenever she couldn’t really be bothered with the way she looked. But like he had always told her, the bubu did little to hide her beauty and incredible sexiness. It only made him think of what was underneath it. He felt a faint stirring. He said a quick prayer of thanks as that department seemed to be fine.

He couldn’t wait to go home and to get back to work. He wondered how the office would cope without him. Sola and Vivian could manage he thought, and they could always reach him if they needed him.

“Ah! Mummy! Daddy! Welcome!”

“How is he?” “How is my son?”

“He is recovering very nicely. He regained consciousness last night but now he’s sleeping.”

“Where is he? Can we see him?”

“Of course, we were just waiting for him to wake up.”

It seemed his parents were here. Tonye was sure his mother’s prayers had been what kept him from the bear hug of death. His mother did not joke with her prayers, neither did she joke with her children.

“Shall we go in?” Dr. Alabi said.

Tonye reached for the overhead handle and pulled himself up to a more upright position. He had to look strong for all their sakes, lest they continue to worry. He hoped he looked okay and not too bad. He could not wait to see those who loved him so much, those whose love he craved and needed as much as a drowning man needed air. Their love had made him strong, given him hope and crafted him into the man that he was, the man he needed to be. His parents and his darling wife Ifeoma - Ifeoma that he had loved from the first time he saw her sitting in that classroom all those years ago on the first day of their JAMB lessons. She had become his best friend, his confidante, his girlfriend and then his soul mate. Theirs had been a long and passionate relationship, with the ups and downs and verve that came with young love. It had not been easy but it had been worth it, every nanosecond. She made him happy, like he was the only man on earth and for his part he did his best to keep her on that pedestal that he had placed her on since the first day they met. He hoped he had not frightened her too much. She was tough but he did not like her to be pushed.

His family walked in led by Dr. Alabi.

Tonye smiled as much as he could manage. His mother already had some tears in her eyes as she reached for him gently, “Tonye, how are you?” His father was far more stoic as he walked to his bedside and took his hand. “Son, we thank God.”

Tonye smiled at his parents and then turned his head to see Ifeoma. She stood there before him with tears in her eyes. Tonye had tears in his eyes as well and he blinked to get rid of them.

“Sade, come and hug your husband and let us thank God for his life”, his mother said.

Suddenly, Tonye did not recognise his wife. This was not Ifeoma.

“Who are you?” Tonye said in a raspy voice. “Where is Ifeoma?”

***********************************

Tonye stood in the drizzling rain and looked down at the gravestone before him. He had been standing there for about five minutes trying to make sense of it all. He read and re-read the words engraved on the stone.

Ifeoma Okafor

June 16, 1980 – July 23, 2008

Loving daughter, blessed child

Go with God.

After a while, Tonye limped, cane in hand, towards the car where Sade sat patiently waiting.

There is this girl....

There is this girl. The girl in my dreams. I have never met her or spoken to her but I know that I have seen her and she has seen me and only from a distance. Looking back now I am sure the first time we met was long ago, when I was a kid. But who she is exactly, I am not sure. Over the years I have seen her in other women, bits of her in other girls. Like in the little three year old girl I met at a mutual family friend’s house all those years ago. The little girl who cried when she had to leave me. She threw a massive tantrum and we ended up going with her to her house just to stop the crying. The mothers laughed and made jokes that my three year old mind could not understand. The next time I saw her I was older, 11 to be precise; and it was the last day of primary school and I saw her in my classmate Ada. Ada and I had spent many days together after school doing our homework and keeping each other company until our not-so-prompt parents came to get us from school. She was easily my best friend when it was un-cool for boys and girls to be so. But this is not about Ada; it is about the girl, the girl I saw in Ada when a group of us boys had badgered her into telling the identity of the one boy she really liked in class. Names were called and each time she said “No”. A few of the boys, confident with themselves even mentioned their own names. She laughed and still said “No.” She looked at me at one point, I think daring me to ask if it was me. It was at that moment I saw her again. I never opened my mouth and the one o’clock bell rang.

Being a teenager was more about books than dreaming so I did not see her much; just those rare times where I would see her in my early morning dreams. Saw a bit of her at 17, in a girl I fell in love with. Then a whole lot of her in another girl I fell in love with at 20. Janet did not love me back for another 4 years but when she did I hardly saw her any more, the girl in my dreams that is. I stopped believing in her and admitted to myself that she was not real, and did not exist.

So it was a surprise when one day a few years later, from the corner of my eye, I saw her looking at me. I turned to look at her properly but she was gone. This would happen once in a while. I have tried to put a face to her but it comes to me in snatches of articulation, very briefly like smoke fading away. I would close my eyes and try to remember, to picture her face, her body, her form. Sometimes it would be clear as day but as soon as I would open my eyes it would disappear. I see her sometimes in music videos, silent soul siren with the fizzy hair or curls; in prose, witty conversation and in silent avatars. She is there.

I am convinced she is just a figment of my imagination or a part of my psyche that had been manifested in this way. Perhaps I knew her in another life as a veritable part of me. Or perhaps she is my guardian angel watching over me, a protector. Maybe she is death herself just checking up on me until that appointed day. I may live many many more years, I really do not expect her to be real or to emerge from the shadows or to one day fully become a woman that I would actually meet. But I do know that when the time comes for me to cross from this life to another, on the day death comes for me, the girl in my dreams will be with me, holding my hand, walking in love with me. Of this, I have no doubt.

Film Review: Man of Steel, The Saviour of the World

I approached Man of Steel with a lot of scepticism; indeed my followers on Twitter and members of the movie group I belong to on Facebook (The Movie Smackdown) suffered my cynicism first hand. I harped on the fact that the critics had scored it low and based on the previews I had seen I claimed that Man of Steel borrowed plot lines from every superhero flick out there and that the CGI was painful to look at. I eventually saw Man of Steel after several postponements and my verdict is that it is actually a very good film!

Maybe it was the marketing overhype that we all had to endure for a full year before the film hit the big screen that annoyed me; and perhaps a certain mistrust of the franchise that gave us the sad Superman Returns (2006) that fuelled my suspicions; but deep deep down inside I knew that a team that included Christopher Nolan, Zack Snyder and David S. Goyer could not go wrong.

Man of Steel works as a reboot of the Superman film franchise. The plot immediately brings comparisons with the first two Superman films – Richard Donner’s subliminal Superman (1978) and Superman II (1980) – with the former an origin story and the latter dealing with Earth’s invasion by the insane Kryptonian General Zod and two others. Perhaps it is the benchmark set by these two earlier films and also superhero film fatigue that have stymied its Box Office figures, otherwise Man of Steel ought to reach the billion dollar mark.

Man of Steel was very visually appealing. Although I had earlier criticised the CGI and the supersonic, blurry and darting movements of the Kryptonians as they did battle (reminiscent of the character Dante in Capcom’s Devil May Cry) I have to admit that it lends some realism to the powers that they had. The destruction of Metropolis was on full kilter! It was epic!!! I mean no other superhero film (save 2008’s Hancock) provides destruction at this scale. Yes, this is what you expect to see when two super-humanoids go toe-to-toe. Man of Steel does not hold back and this is very satisfying to see on the big screen, finally a film depiction that is a worthy treatment of the destruction we see in the comics! Satisfying indeed.

The story is told at a good pace, and although the use of flashbacks was probably the best option it sometimes interrupted the flow and the build up of the film.

Thanks to the writers and the director, and great acting by Henry Cavill (The Count of Monte Cristo, Immortals) as Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, we get to see the internal emotional conflict that he endures. Clark’s difference from the rest of us as he struggles with an identity crisis to define who he is, while keeping his abilities secret are brought to the fore. His level of self control is aptly alien as I finally understand why Superman with all his powers still prefers to remain the goody boy scout that he is (also without the goofiness that is supposed to be Clark Kent that we saw in the Christopher Reeves’ films). In addition, in this case, it is his Earthly father, Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner) out of love for him who instils in him a sense of belonging and self preservation at the cost of his own life. Here I find that Jor-El’s role in the first Superman film has been switched with Jonathan Kent’s, who for different reasons would prefer Clark not to interfere with the human race but fly under the radar. I watched with great shock and morbid satisfaction as Clark Kent finally killed someone so deserving as against locking them up or banishing them someplace as the one in the comics always lamely does. At the point he snaps Zod’s neck you can see the emotions that Clark is going through as he has to take a life to save a billion others, to take a fellow Kryptonian’s life in order to save his adopted humankind. No words can describe that. In the end you find that Clark Kent is more human than he is Kryptonian, more Clark Kent than he is Kal-El or even Superman. He is American through and through, born and raised in Smallville, Kansas.

I looked forward to seeing Michael Shannon (Bad Boys II, Revolutionary Road, Machine Gun Preacher, Boardwalk Empire) as General Zod. For me he was the main attraction. His performance was generally above average, with scenes where we could see glimmers of his madness. But it is my thinking that the filmmakers wanted a less psychotic General Zod, a more intelligent and 3-dimesional one. I was in no way disappointed, all that was lacking was the epic, “Kneel before Zod!!!” But hey, no one could have said that better than Terence Stamp, so why try eh?

Amy Adams as Lois Lane was average. She is the tamest of all the Lois Lane portrayals I have seen. If this was deliberate by the filmmakers, they succeeded. Her connection with Clark/Superman is quite visible and the chemistry holds promise, for she seems to be the first woman that Clark can be with, and perhaps because of the circumstances of their meeting it is the first time he tries.

It was great seeing Christopher Meloni (Law & Order: SVU) on the big screen as Colonel Nathan Hardy and his awesome acting ability showed. More films for him please. Kevin Costner was great as usual and for me his role was pivotal to the understanding of whom Clark Kent was. Diane Lane as Martha Kent was very effective and gave us a more attractive version of Mother Kent. The lovely Israeli actress, Ayelet Zurer’s (Munich, Vantage Point, Angels & Demons) performance as Lara Lor-Van leaves a distinct impression, while German Antje Traue (Pandorum, 5 Days of War) as Faora is a delight to watch. Russell Crowe as Jor-El was great, deep, intelligent and empathic –a welcome departure from the godlike Marlon Brando portrayal.

In conclusion, of immense interest to me were the parallels the filmmakers drew between Clark Kent and Jesus Christ. If I had never noticed it before Man of Steel certainly drew my attention to this. Both are not of this world and are sent from the heavens to save the world.  Like Jesus, Clark was adopted by an earthly father only to connect with his non-physical father later. Both wandered through the wilderness in a quest to discover who they were and to prepare them for the task ahead. Both were in their 30s when they began their work. At age 33, Clark gave himself up to human authority even though he was above this authority, just like Jesus gave himself up to the Pharisees. The US military handed Clark over to Zod just as the Pharisees handed over Jesus to the Romans. Indeed, one can go on and on but at the end of the day one thing is clear: according to Chris Nolan, David S. Goyer and Zack Snyder, and perhaps creators Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, Superman the Man of Steel is the Saviour of the World.

PS: As of 1 July 2013, Man of Steel has grossed over $520mm worldwide in just 17 days since its release.

Film Review: Oblivion - Not Your Summer Sci-Fi Blockbuster, But Darn Good Too.

Oblivion is a science fiction film starring Tom Cruise as Tech 49 Jack Harper whom together with his partner and lover Victoria Olsen - played by Andrea Riseborough - are one of the last teams of drone repairmen tasked with maintaining the drones which protect the continued mining of resources from a now uninhabitable Earth to the new celestial human colony on Titan, a few years after a nuclear war with an invading alien race, called Scavs.

Oblivion directed by Joseph Kosinski and based on his unpublished graphic novel of the same name is simply put a beautiful film. Now I gather quite a few people do not care much for it and I peg this down to their disappointment with respect to what type of film they expected Oblivion to be. This I blame on the trailers/previews of the film as they erroneously led some of us to believe that an action-packed sci-fi thriller somewhere within the realm of Alien was to be seen. However, in my opinion Oblivion is a much more dramatic and sentimental film, with great acting all around. It is a love story of human sacrifice and determination against the not-so-bleak landscape of a post-apocalyptic Earth. Most of the scenes are of a lone Harper as he carries out his duties seemingly without question as he increasingly becomes curious as to his surroundings and the now desolate city of New York and its environs. Added to this is the mystery that is the woman in his dreams (Olga Kurylenko), who now appears to be real as her ship crash lands onto the Earth. Who is she? What is her mission? And who the heck is Morgan Freeman in all this? Oblivion’s brilliantly paced storytelling and visual masterpiece (reminiscent of 2001: A Space Odyssey) settles and unsettles you as you become Harper, watching each scene unfold until its beautiful, climatic and quite dramatic denouement.

Oblivion is a good film and you will find that if you keep your expectations outside the cinema and just watch, you will find that it is a film that you would want to see again and again; well if not for any reason but for its uber brilliant soundtrack composed and performed by M83.

Oblivion released on April 10, 2012 has grossed over $260million worldwide.

Oblivion is currently showing at the Genesis Deluxe Cinemas.

PS: Director Joseph Kosinski, who also directed Tron: Legacy, made Oblivion as homage to sci-fi films of the 70s.

Film Review: Iron Man 3 – All That is Missing is a Cowl.

I saw Iron Man 3 at the Genesis Deluxe Cinemas at The Palms in Lekki. To say I had to force myself to buy the ticket would not be far from the truth because as a general rule I do not see 3D films at the cinema. Why? Because I have never experienced the “oh-so-great” cinematic 3D experience in all the other 3D films I have watched. I pencil this lack of the 3D effect to my prescription glasses over which I don the 3D glasses, resulting in no real difference with or without the 3D glasses. However, for the sake of my date and the desire to see Iron Man 3 I put aside all fears of “wasted” money and went to see the film.

Iron Man 3 in so many ways was waaaaaaaaaaay better than Iron Man 2 which to me was a huge disappointment! Gone was the watery plot as well as the weak villains! Enter a believable post-The Avengers story which dwelt more on Tony Stark the man, than Iron Man the super hero/Avenger, and two hugely believable villains in the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) and Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce). With Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) in mortal danger, Tony Stark had to step out from behind the iron suit to rescue her leaving Col. James Rhodes/Iron Patriot (Don Cheadle) to save POTUS and the nation (read as world).

I am sure the fan boys were very happy with Iron Man 3. War Machine, now Iron Patriot had loads of screen time and we saw almost every Iron Man suit in the books. We also saw the Mandarin, Iron Man’s primary nemesis in the 1990's cartoon TV series wreak havoc on the world. Even though I could see that happening a mile off, the final scenes where Tony pretty much hops from suit to suit were quite good. Fellow film aficionado Kal, remarked that it was also a tad ridiculous; perhaps this was why those of us watching were not as wowed as we should have been – there was no applause as is associated with the Lagos cinema crowd!

The story line like I pointed out earlier was believable and also very familiar. Maybe this was because in this installment Tony Stark had a few similarities with another comic genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist – Bruce Wayne. The scriptwriters, Drew Pearce and Shane Black (who is also the director) must have taken it upon themselves to try and show us that Mr. Stark is almost as bad-ass as Mr. Wayne. Iron Man 3 tries to show us the “great detective” side of Tony Stark where he pieces the puzzle of AIM, Mandarin and Aldrich Killian together in much the same way the original great detective Bruce Wayne would! In addition, Mr. Stark’s snobbery of Mr. Killian in the opening scenes is very reminiscent of Mr. Wayne’s snobbery of Mr. E. Nygma in 1995’s Batman Forever. Likewise, both Mr. Killian and Mr. Nygma, later blessed with superhuman powers, return to exact vengeance on Mr. Stark and Mr. Wayne respectively! And oh yes, their love interests – Ms. Potts and Dr. Meridian – are also both held captive. Also noticeable was the fact that in these two films the sidekick goes on to rescue the president/city while our superheroes rescue the damsels in distress. However, the similarity that takes the cake is where we find that the Mandarin is not the “actual or main” villain, just like Bane was not the “actual or main” villain in 2012's The Dark Knight Rises!!!

Ok, undoubtedly no idea is original, but let us tag Mr. Pearce and Mr. Shane as Batman fan boys.

As always, Guy Pearce’s acting was sublime. He was quite the scary villain with a point to prove (I think). Ben Kinglsey was a hoot and it no longer mattered that he is not Asian. It was good to see Ms. Paltrow on the big screen again. Robert Downey, Jr. was his effective Tony Stark, but with the swag toned down, as it should be since his character is experiencing some form of PTSD. It was great seeing Iron Man and Iron Man 2 director Jon Favreau again on the other side of the lens reprising his role as Happy Hogan, Tony Stark’s PA/bodyguard and head of security.

I found the Christmas setting a bit anachronistic, a more release-date backdrop would have been preferred.

Iron Man 3 is OK fun but the humour and wit is lacking and we get the sense that this was a rush job. The scriptwriters wanted us to see a more human Tony Stark with a few laughs thrown in. His destruction of the remaining suits signalling his retirement from tinkering is also not convincing for we know Iron Man will return. Indeed, Tony Stark gets no realer than the first Iron Man film. Thus, I still regard Iron Man as the best by far of the three. With respect to the Marvel Universe films it also nosedives out of the sky just like Iron Man did in The Avengers for Iron Man 3 does not and cannot keep up with the blast that The Avengers is.

PS: Iron Man 3 has passed the one billion dollar mark at the global Box Office, earning $1,073,861,977 as at May 21, 2013.

PSS: Jon Favreau was an Assistant Director for Batman Forever! Ah! Enlightenment!

Full disclosure: I am an unapologetic Batman fan! And oh yeah, for the first time, I “felt” the 3D effect. J

Image credits: Marvel Studios, Marvel screencap 

Prose: Sarah

Sarah quietly cried as she sat in the middle of their big bed. With tears running down her face, intermingled with catarrh that had overflowed from her filled sinuses, she tried to stifle her sobs by putting her fist into her mouth; but still they escaped. She tried harder for she did not want to wake her three year old son, Jide who was asleep in a corner of the big bed. She was not the only one who was worried about not waking the boy. Her husband Goke was pacing the floor space in the room from end to end, speaking angrily, but in low tones so as not to wake the boy. It was still early and they could have relocated to the living room to talk but the severity, suddenness and sensitivity of the matter at hand prevented them from doing that. Their bedroom was their inner chamber, their sanctuary free from prying eyes and ears.

Sarah sobbed some more as Goke threatened thunder and fire from heaven. She heard the words “betrayal” and the pain seared through her again. The words “forgiveness” offered some respite. So far he had not mentioned “divorce” and for that she was relieved. She clung unto this fact as a drowning man held unto straws.

He had seized her phones – her Blackberry and her Samsung and had gone through her IMs and her text messages looking for proof or as he had hoped the absence of it. Goke had seen their last IM exchange: “Hey, hope you got home safely after a long day”..... "Yeah thankfully the long holiday is here”.... “I have to go. Nanite”..... “Sweet dreams dear”. It appeared innocent, a message between good friends.

Sarah knew he was going through her phones; she had resisted at first but then quickly given up. She had given up the right to her privacy the moment she had opened her mouth. Besides she was sure there was nothing too incriminating to be found for she had been very careful in ensuring that her messages were “Dapo free.” Dapo! As she thought of him, slivers of pain and excitement ran through her body. She sighed.

But she had done the right thing. She told herself this as Goke went on and on. Oh Goke! Her darling Goke! So self-righteous and so proper. He always did what was expected of him, at least in his mind. He worked hard, protected and provided for her and their family, nuclear and extended. So why wasn’t he able to protect her from Dapo? Anyway, he certainly had his chance now, for she had given it to him when she broke down and confessed her sins to him thirty minutes ago.

****************************

Dapo had been at her school. He had been a year ahead of her in the department of computer engineering. A gentle, studious boy she had liked his seriousness and small doses of charm. This was evident whenever he took her class on software engineering.  They had become friends and enjoyed each other’s company whenever they got together. But nothing serious for Dapo was dating a girl in another faculty, Ifeoma, a no-nonsense beauty whom Dapo completely adored. Besides she was sort of betrothed to Goke who was in another institution having pledged her love to him after years of friendship and toasting. Yet somewhere in her mind she knew that perhaps she and Dapo would have been more than just friends if they had both been single at the time. Dapo graduated from school and within a year his relationship with Ifeoma had come to an end. It was news, at least to those who knew them as she had broken things off with him citing long distance. Dapo had pleaded and tried all sorts of ways to get her back but she resisted every one. The wedding invitation that came about a year later was the nail in the coffin. His visits to the school stopped for there was no reason for him to come around anymore. So they had lost touch only to bump into each other two years ago.

Sarah had been trying to buy fuel during one of those panic-buying sessions that Lagosians are known for. It was about 10pm and thankfully Awolowo Road still boasted open filling stations. Work had been tiring and all she wanted was to get fuel and go home. When it got to her turn she asked the attendant to fill her tank only to discover that she had forgotten to withdraw cash from the ATM during the day. What was she to do? While she tried to explain to the attendant not minding the growing impatience of the cars behind hers she heard her name. “Sarah!’ She turned and it was Dapo. He quickly offered to pay for her fuel which she gladly accepted. They exchanged numbers and promised to catch up soon. On the way home she had thought about him. He had filled up a bit so he was not as lanky as he used to be. She had not noticed a wedding band and she resolved to quiz him about it.

They met up a couple of weeks later after work. Goke was out of town and as such she did not have to be home early. Besides work had kept her late, so what was an extra hour going to do to her? They had agreed to meet at a hole in the wall on the Island as they both worked on the Island. He had been waiting for her as she followed the directions he had given her. The place, Joey’s was rather cosy and in a word private, as it was not crowded like the other joints on the Island. The staff seemed to know Dapo as he was treated like a regular customer. She asked him about it and said the place was his hideaway, a place he could really relax after work, a place to contemplate on the meaning of it all and wait out the traffic. Sarah looked around and had to agree. The low music would not give one tinnitus and there were only about two other patrons. They had caught up, laughed a lot and teased each other. Dapo was such a gentleman. He still had that boyish charm and studious seriousness that made her like him. In one moment he could be as goofy as a clown and the very next as serious as a heart attack. They enjoyed each other’s company for a little over an hour and she had to leave. He walked her to her car and gave her a brief hug goodbye. Sarah had felt a little tingle as he held her.

Over the next few weeks, they chatted incessantly, called each other up, and hung out when they could. They talked about anything and everything. Sarah slowly realised that he was becoming important to her for he was taking up space in a place she did not know still existed. Goke was travelling a lot these days and she found herself with some free time. The nanny her mother had sent was very efficient and her younger sister was the responsible sort so she had no qualms leaving Jide with them a little longer a few nights a week. She told herself that they were just old friends who enjoyed each other’s company. She had not broken any laws or crossed any lines. But the way she began to look forward to Dapo’s IMs and calls suggested something else.

Joey’s became their spot. He was afraid to take her anywhere else for fear that they might be seen by people who would not understand and misconstrue things. She did not mind for anywhere with Dapo was just fine. She teased him about the other girls he must have brought to Joey’s. He swore that he had never brought any other woman to the place. “You better not!” she replied and they both laughed. One night she asked him about his being single and he shrugged it off saying that although there were a few women he liked, he had not yet found the right person.

“And what is your definition of the right person?” She looked at him as he defined his Miss Right and the thoughts she had buried deep inside clawed their way into her consciousness – thoughts from all those years ago and more recent ones.

 “Kinda like you”, he ended his definition.

She blushed, she smiled, and she frowned and said, “Kinda like Ifeoma you mean.”

Dapo looked at her with a look on his face that she could not quite place and then erupted in laughter.

 “Yeah right”, he had said. 

That night they held hands as they walked to her car.

The next day she had received a bouquet of yellow roses from him. He had not signed the card but she knew they were from him. Her colleagues teased and congratulated her. Flowers when it was not Valentine’s? Her husband was a correct guy! That evening they got to Joey’s but stayed in her car. She thanked him for the flowers but he tried to deny sending them in his usual pseudo serious-goofy manner.  “Flowers ke? Do I even know where they sell flowers? Maybe it was your hus...” She had cut him off with a kiss. Where the kiss or the idea of kissing him came from Sarah did not know but she kissed him like it was the natural thing to do.

Dapo kissed her back with almost equal fervour. When they pulled apart, a thousand thoughts ran through her head: “What have I done?!” “What does this mean?!” “Sarah you have messed up!” They sat in silence and as she moved to break the silence, Dapo kissed her. He kissed her slowly and deliberately as if he was trying to come to terms with her mouth, to get to know her better. She held her breath as the stirrings that she had previously suppressed bubbled to the fore. He pulled back to break the kiss but she placed her hand behind his head and pulled him to her.

That night as she drove home she shook a little. Goke had called earlier but she had missed his call. She called him back explaining that her phone had been on silent and she had not felt the vibrations. She prayed that he had not heard the trembling in her voice. He had not.

Dapo invited her over to his flat that he shared with a friend. But she refused. She did not want to take any more risks or chances. Being alone with him in public was a lot safer than being with him alone in private. They still hung out when they could. Her days were interspersed with his calls, IMs and messages. He made her laugh and always presented a listening shoulder as they talked about work and its challenges. She never talked about Goke and apart from the first time he had enquired about him Dapo never asked. They now spent more time in their cars than they did inside Joey’s. Although they never crossed the line they made out like teenagers on long vacation. Lord! She wanted him! But she knew she could not cross that line. Inasmuch as she liked Dapo she could not bring herself to do that which would be the ultimate betrayal. It was fine as long as she did not sleep with him, she told herself.

Then they had gotten into a misunderstanding. One night Dapo had questioned her about their relationship and what she wanted from it. She had no answer and he seemed a little impatient and irritated. She then told him that she had no expectations or demands given their situation. To this Dapo did not say a word and abruptly ended their time together. Later on he sent her a message saying that he was not sure he could continue with what they were doing, that it seemed rather pointless. She felt hurt but she had to agree. He wanted to remain friends. She did too.

The friendship lost its intensity after a while. They still communicated but it was more civil and less passionate. Goke was travelling a lot less and they spent more time together. Her marriage was going on well. Then she bumped into Dapo at the airport. She was on her way out of town on a business trip and the taxi had just dropped her when she saw Dapo striding towards her. Her heart skipped a beat. They exchanged pleasantries and he explained that he had just got in from Abuja. He left her with a hug that she felt until she landed at Enugu. That evening she buzzed him on his BlackBerry. They chatted for a bit, catching up and then he sent “I miss you”. She responded with “Sigh” and turned off her phone. She did not sleep well that night.

She returned to Lagos and had a fight with Goke. They made up that night and as they lay in each other’s arms her thoughts suddenly turned to Dapo. She remembered his kisses, slow and deliberate and she trembled. She wanted Goke to kiss her that way. She stopped him and told him to take it slow. Goke got ticked off and wondered why he had to suddenly change his technique. She quickly waved it away and assuaged his feelings lest another fight be had. As she lay in bed later she knew she had to see Dapo.

She had called him when she knew he would be winding down for the day and asked to see him. They met at his office car park. He got into her car and she started with small talk as he waited patiently for her to really talk. She told him that she missed him a lot and although things were seemingly pointless, she wanted things to go back to the way they were. She told him about how he filled her thoughts and waking moments, how her body felt whenever she recalled his kisses and his touch, his smell, heavy breathing and inaudible sighs. Dapo looked at her and when she was done, he moved across and held her tight.

A few weeks later after a Saturday spent at the office she went to his place. He had suddenly invited her over and she had agreed. His roommate was out of town and so they could be alone. This time with Dapo had been a culmination of months of wanting and desire. All the kisses and touches were finally allowed to build up steam and erupt in a taking that established full knowing. She had made love to Dapo like she had always imagined. She had taken him in, riding him ever so slowly as she introduced her body parts to his as he did his to hers. She wanted him to feel every inch of her as she felt every bit of him. She explored his not so lean and muscular frame, touching and teasing and knowing; and when she could not take the intensity any longer she made up for all the time spent in their cars. It was beautiful. An hour later as she drove home a smile stayed on her lips and knot developed in her chest. Would Goke notice? Could he tell that his darling wife had been unfaithful? He was not at home when she got back. She thankfully ran into the bathroom and removed all would-be traces of her sins. The physical ones yes, the mental ones no.

Dapo broke their rule and sent her an IM, asking how she was. She chided him for buzzing her while she was home but answered that she was fine. His message kick-started an instant replay of their time together. She wanted to see him again. No, she wanted him again. Goke came home and her mind began to play tricks on her. Could he see it in her eyes? Or could he smell another man on her body? She had showered and washed her underwear but still she wondered. As he lay on top of her later that night, he stopped for a moment, looked into her eyes and said “I love you Sarah.” The knot in her chest increased geometrically. She did not respond but kissed him, urging him on.

Sunday service made things worse as the pastor decided to preach on adultery and fornication. What awful timing! She thought. She managed to zone out as he spoke but the knot had gotten bigger. She had to assuage the growing feelings of guilt. She needed an outlet. She threw herself into her work the first few days of the week trying for a distraction but Dapo’s messages were beginning to get to her. She had to talk to him. She buzzed him saying that she felt a bit guilty and he said he felt the same way. He offered to give her space but she rejected it saying that she needed to see him so they could talk. Her mind troubled her as she remembered her vows and promises.

They met at Joey’s a few nights later and had a drink. Dapo tried to assuage her feelings and he succeeded. Just being with him made everything else seem so secondary; he made sense to her. They left Joey’s and she got into his car suggesting that they drive around and talk some more. Dapo drove aimlessly and after a few turns parked the car. Sarah turned to him and kissed him with a need she did not know was there. Dapo kissed her back and her head began to swim. She felt and responded to his touches and she wanted more. They found themselves in the back seat as she sat across his laps. She hiked up her skirt and unzipped his trousers. Dapo froze for a second as she set him free. She guided him inside her and she rocked back and forth, up and down as her body sang with joy. What was she doing?! Having sex in a car by the side of the road?! She pushed those thoughts out of her mind as her body took over, the absence of a condom this time multiplying the feelings. Before long Dapo moaned her name as he approached the edge and tried to push her off him. She grounded her pelvis against his one last time as he began to climax. She jumped off him as he finished what he had started.

They had hurriedly cleaned up as best they could as cars passed by. They held each other. “I can’t do this”, she said as she breathed him in. “Did you come inside me?” He was not sure. “I have to get to a pharmacy.” She rearranged her blouse and checked her skirt; it had lost a few stitches. Dapo pulled her close and hugged her. She eventually pushed him away and asked him to take her to her car. She kissed him good bye and drove home.

The days that followed were agonizing for her. Her trip to the pharmacy was for her the walk of shame. She took the pill and hid the other one in her bag. She did not use pills as Goke used a condom whenever she was “unsafe”. She got home and Goke was waiting. She gave a work excuse for coming home late and she ran to the bathroom to take off her clothes and have a bath. She kept thinking that her bag would fall and spill its contents. So she kept it in her wardrobe. She claimed a headache and went to bed knowing she would not survive Goke’s presence. At work the following day she kept her bag close to her and escaped to the restroom to take the second pill. She satisfied herself that she had done the needful but she had lost all sense of comfort. She wanted to reach out to Dapo but she restrained herself. Buzzing Dapo would not be a good idea as that would only awaken her desire for him. She needed space, she needed to think, she needed to talk to someone but there was no one she dared speak to about this. Dapo had entered her subconscious, her psyche and she knew it would break her. They had no future, just fleeting moments. She had no real reason to end her marriage. Did Goke not love her? Did he not provide for her? On the other hand she did not love Dapo...or did she? She loved so many things about him and the way he made her feel, but did that mean that she loved him? Dapo. Dapo. Dapo. He had unsettled her, shocked her system without any real effort. But really it was all that time spent with him, dwelling on the times spent that was her undoing. Yes, she had always liked him, admired him but from afar, which was a little acknowldgement of the nice person he was but not this dragon that had been unleashed. He had become known to her and she admired him even more, wanting to be with him all the time, wishing things that could never be uttered. The guilt was tearing her apart, things she had done and things she was sure she would do again. But how to end all this pain, this dissonance that bent her mind and set her heart against her being?

She decided in a fevered daze to make her confession to her husband Goke. She needed to be able to breathe again for air it seemed was choking her. The voices needed to stop and they would only stop if she talked. Talking to a third party was not her style. She had often marvelled at people who consulted shrinks and counsellors. She could never bring herself to wash her linen in public. So she opened her mouth and spoke, confessing her infidelity to her husband and with each word said she felt a loosening of the knot in her chest, the settling of the voices and the dissipation of dissonance.

Goke said nothing at first, and then as what she said sank in he flared up fighting hard to control himself as Jide lay sleeping in their bed. Besides he did not want to alert the nanny and his sister in-law. Could Sarah be joking? He looked at her and her sobs and tears told him it was not a joke. How long had this been going on?! He had been such a fool.

Sarah lay in her bed all day. Thankfully her sister sensing that something was not quite right had taken Jide out. Goke had disappeared angrily storming out of the house taking her phones with him. She felt a little afraid. What would Goke do? What would he decide? She thought and worried for hours until he came back. She thought of Dapo and sighed. She closed her eyes tightly and wished him away out of her thoughts.

Goke returned late in the evening and after spending sometime in front of the television in the parlour, he spoke to her. He went on and on about how she had betrayed him, how she threw his love and her marriage in the gutter for another man. He asked for details, he wanted to know things that she could not bear to tell him. He paused and changed his mind. He knew all he needed to know. But did he? He needed to know if she still loved him and if she still wanted to be with him. She cried that she did and that her breach of trust would never repeat itself. She begged him invoking the name of the Lord. Goke listened and thought hard when she was done. He loved his wife and he had made vows. He knew the kind of person she was and was sure that her confession was done out of remorse and penitence. She had done wrong and she had admitted it, subjecting herself to his love and mercy and whatever punishment that might follow.

Goke reeled out a list of instructions and commandments that she was to follow. He gave her back her phones and told her that he had spoken to Dapo. Her heart skipped a beat. He had put Dapo in his place and told him of her confession. He went on to threaten him. The little boy had disconnected the line after a flurry of protestations. She nodded her head in understanding. She was grateful for Goke and she swore she would love and obey him for the rest of her life.

A month later as she closed from the office and hurriedly walked to her car so as to meet the curfew Goke had imposed she saw Dapo walking towards her. Her heart caught in her chest and she walked faster. He called out to her hurrying to catch up. She stopped to face him. He looked older and she could tell he had not been himself. He tried to apologise like he had once tried to do on the phone before she disconnected the line. She had deleted and blocked him from her BlackBerry and although she deleted his number, she still would recognise it each time he tried to call her. She brushed his apologies off and told him that it was ok and that he had nothing to apologise for since it was all her fault. She should have behaved better. She sniffled. He looked sad as he enquired if Goke had hit her. She shook her head saying he was not that kind of person.

“I can’t see you again Dapo, ever. I made a promise to my husband and to myself. I can’t see you again.” Dapo looked like he was about to cry. “Ok but can I call you once in a while to know how you are? How you are doing?” She shook her head again. Goke had begun to monitor her calls and whereabouts, something he had never done before. He was taking no chances. She opened her door and Dapo made to touch her. Sarah shrank back and said, “Dapo don’t!” She got in wound down and said, “Just leave me be Dapo. We can’t work. I cheated on my husband with you! I almost threw away my marriage for you!”

“But why did you tell him?”

“To rid myself of you! Don’t you get?”

Dapo looked lost.

“I will nearly always be attracted to you. I swear I don’t know what you did to me but I will always want you and I can’t.”

A tear rolled down her face.

“I did the right thing Dapo, please let me do the right thing.”

Dapo nodded ever so slightly and stepped away from the car. She looked at him and gave him a sad little smile. Sarah pulled out of the car park and headed towards the Mainland. She sobbed quietly as she drove home.

The End.