Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relationships. Show all posts

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Prose: Eloho

“Sooo long…bitch you did me so wrong!
 I don’t wanna go on,
Livin’ in this world without you!”

                                - Marshall Mathers


Each time Eloho played Eminem’s The Marshall Mathers LP album his mind would go back to that day, that day when everything changed. Whether for good or bad he was never sure. Some would argue that it was for good, others would have taken the contrary position. But what was done was done, and did he have any regrets? He most definitely did.


It was his last day before going back to school at the University of Benin aka Uniben. The localised strike had just been called off so his two week “break” was over. The school had been shut down over an industrial action carried out by the non-teaching staff who as usual were clamouring for one benefit or the other. He was tired of it all and after staying idly in school for two weeks he had gone home to Lagos. He did not understand why lectures had to be affected really but after a week of non-teaching support the lecturers had simply not turned up. Who was going to maintain the classrooms, clean the lavatories and carry out the other more serious admin roles in the school? It was a good reason to go home and he took it.


He had things to do, friends to see and things to catch up on. Inasmuch as his school was his pride and joy, Benin offered little comparatively to the action of Lagos. So his two weeks had been spent eating free food from his mum’s kitchen, watching movies and visiting friends. One friend in particular was important to him – Henrietta. Henrietta or Henri was his girlfriend of two years and he was totally in love with her. They had met while they were both waiting for admission into the university, during that period people called “University of House”, the one year between graduation from secondary school to university admission. For some more unfortunate, it took longer than a year, sometimes even up to four years - JAMB and O-Level exams were not known for their lack of difficulty.


For him it had been love at first sight. For her, a gradual coming into love as some teenage girls are wont to do.  They had been together for two years save for a brief breakup when they both ended up in different schools. She had gone to Lagos, University of Lagos (Unilag) and so they thought the best thing to do was to break up given the long distance. But after a semester apart one missed the other so much that they decided to make it work, and try they did. The past year things had been great given the time apart and they made up for it with long phone calls and even longer letters. The phone calls were murder on the pocket for him, but hey true love comes at a price, he told himself. 


So during this break period he had tried to see her as often as possible given her classes, three times so far. Just because his school’s non-academic staff were on strike did not suddenly mean that the rest of the country’s ivory towers would grind to a halt as well.


Eloho had had some last minute running around to do which involved picking up a few items and stopping by at Unilag to say his goodbyes to his friends and his babe Henri. He took a bus to Yaba Bus Stop and from there got on the Unilag campus bus shuttle service. Once on campus he located his bosom buddy's room. Pedro shared a BQ (Boys’ Quarters) room with a classmate in the senior staff quarters. Eloho had settled down and after the usual pleasantries had produced a bootleg copy of Eminem’s The Marshal Mathers LP. The other two guys in the room went nuts. The whole world had been waiting for Eminem aka Slim Shady real name Marshal Mathers to release his sophomore effort. His first album The Slim Shady LP was ill! For a white dude, Eminem could rap…his flow, word play, punch lines, and pop culture references were out of this world. He had given the established rap stars a run for their money and the rap and hip-hop community and indeed the world had taken notice of this white boy from Detroit.


“Eloho! How?! Where did you get this from?!”

Eloho grinned. “I know a guy.”

Pedro snatched the CD from his hand and began to scrutinise it.

“I picked it up from my audio CD guy on my way here. He said it just came to the market and this was one of the few copies available”, Eloho continued.

“Have you sampled it?”

“No, not really, I just listened to the intro and The Real Slim Shady track on my Discman. I was waiting for you guys.”

Pedro’s roommate, Chinedu boomed, “Abeg, let’s jam this CD!!!”

The white disc with the reverse “E” was slot into one of the trays of the Philips 3-loader VCD/CD player.
This is a Public Service Announcement brought to you….”


Over an hour later the three boys were numb with awe. What had they just listened to? The Marshal Mathers LP was a couple of light years ahead of Em’s first album. Where he had been psychotically petulant in a white boy but brilliant rap way in The Slim Shady LP, Em had matured greatly, successfully transforming the previous drug related theme into one of seething rap rage against the success the machine had brought him. Where he had attacked himself, his mum and his wife in the first album, in this effort he attacked everyone else while going up quite a few more notches in his attacks to his mum and wife.
The trio were speechless. They had listened to Stan almost ten times. The message was one for the ages, who else had come close? The entire album was one giant pulsating middle finger but the craft and skill were undeniable.


With that album echoing in their ears, Eloho and Pedro walked towards Henri’s hall of residence hoping to get a cab. Eloho had just one more stop to make before heading home. He was going to see his girl and kiss her goodbye.

Moremi Hall was the premier female hall of residence in Unilag. For one to have entered even for five minutes was a feat not many guys could boast of. The supposedly finest and “it” Unilag girls lived there. Eloho did not get what the fuss was all about really. In his school, the “it” girls nay students lived not in the halls of residence but in the senior staff quarters or off campus in privately owned hostels that were mostly co-ed. But the standing of Moremi Hall was not fully lost on him. The kind of girls that walked in and out of that place would turn heads in his school. The women were fine, all of them. So it was with a sense of pride that he acknowledged the fact that his babe lived there. She was up there with the school’s top percentile of babes.


Eloho and Pedro got out of the cab they had taken from the beginning of Pedro’s street. It was about 7pm and the car park was already getting filled up with boys in their own or their parents’ cars. What a show! Eloho thought to himself. These kids really knew how to separate the classes and he was not referring to the years. Uniben had rich kids and there were students from different backgrounds and classes but it was never exhibited deliberately nor obnoxiously like it was done in Unilag. No wonder a lot of these kids have complexes, he thought. He spotted a smallish girl in the smallest pair of shorts he had ever seen standing next to a guy fully kitted in a sweatshirt, baggy jeans, a baseball hat and bat to boot. Hip hop lives!!!


The two friends walked into Moremi Hall and headed for Block C. Eloho had told Henri that he would be coming so he was sure that she would be in. They climbed up two flights of stairs and walked down the corridor to the right. He could find his way to her room blindfolded. They stopped in front of 208 and knocked. He hoped that her room would not be too full today. Moremi Hall was hopelessly crowded with a 4-woman room becoming a 10-woman one. The porters turned a blind eye to the rules and deep pockets to the squatters as demand far exceeded supply. Who no wan be Moremi babe?


A tall dark girl with a screaming white towel walked past him as he waited. She was quite pretty and the towel only outlined her lovely physique. Eloho and Pedro smiled to each other with a knowing look. That was the thing, there were so many beautiful women in the world, both in Lagos and in Benin but he had eyes for only one. No one could match his babe. Henri was that chocolatey brown skin, slender, with the loveliest almond-shaped eyes and a girl’s body that had grown into and wore its womanhood proudly. She was pretty and people were beginning to notice. But Eloho did not care; he had no fear for she was his. He recalled their many walks in their first year, the endless telephone calls, the hours of fevered making out. He had found someone he could be with. There was never a “just there” moment for every second was golden. He loved her and she loved him. Their relationship was near perfect, it was only the long distance that plagued it.


“Who is it?” a girl asked from within.

“Hi, I’d like to see Henrietta please.”


There was a cough then footsteps. The door was opened by one of Henri’s roommates. Eloho could not remember her name so he just smiled and said hi. Roommate smiled back at him. “Hi, is Henrietta in?” The roommate pulled her head away and looked back into the room. After receiving the go-ahead from Henri, the roommate allowed them in.


Eloho stepped into the room with Pedro right behind him and spotted Henri sitting on her bunk at the far side of the room. As they navigated to her bunk while saying hello to the other women in the room, he noticed that there was a guy sitting in Henri’s bunk. A slight frown came to his face but it was quickly gone when Henri walked up to him.


“Hi,” Eloho greeted Henri with a smile.

Henri smiled back and returned his greeting.

“I hope I’m not too late?”

“No, it’s ok; I just got in from class not too long ago.”

Pedro coughed.

“Oh Pedro hi, I didn’t see you there.” Henri said with a wave.

Pedro waved back.


Eloho looked at the guy seated on Henri’s bed. The dude was portly but tall about his height. Then he remembered him. What was that his name again? Uche. Yeah he had first met him at Henri’s best friend’s birthday party. Then he had met him again at a beach thing Henri had taken him to. Eloho had even spotted him driving down Henri’s street as he left her house during the last semester break. Hmmm…what was going on here?


“Eloho you remember Uche?” Henri said by way of introduction.

“Guy how far?” Eloho greeted.

“Nothing much” Uche responded.

Pedro just waved.

“Look guys, let me check on someone in 311. I’ll be back in a bit.” Pedro exited.


Eloho checked his watch. It was getting late and he did not have much time. He had one more stop to make before heading home.

He took Henri’s hand and pulled her, “Look I can’t stay long. Can we talk outside?”

Eloho walked out to the corridor as Henri spoke briefly to her other guest. She soon joined him.


“What’s up with this Uche guy?” he asked.

“Who Uche? He’s just a friend.”

“Really? Does he stop by often?”

“No, not really. Just once in a while.”

“Really? But I know that he doesn't go to school here.”

“Yeah but you know Tope in my class? Well he’s good friends with Uche. That’s how I met him. He gives some of us a lift sometimes.”

“Okay.”


Eloho was tired. It had been a long day and he wasn't really there to fight. He just wanted to spend a few precious moments with his girl before he left for school the next day.

“I've missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

He looked into her eyes and all the apprehension and suspicion disappeared. They talked for a while, about twenty minutes. Saying whatever lovers say to each other at moments like these. Uche did not come out of the room.


“Which kain guy be dis?” Eloho thought to himself. “Can’t he use his church mind and take his leave?” He really had not expected to be standing on the corridor talking to his girlfriend for this long. The Bro Code demanded that Uche having been deferred to initially would politely take his leave after a couple of minutes if not immediately. The guy had obviously not been schooled properly. These “Lag” boys sef! But wait o, dude was not even in the school!


A few minutes later Pedro returned and found both of them talking on the corridor. Strange. Well maybe they wanted to whisper sweet nothings to each other and did not want others overhearing. Pedro kept a respectable distance, waving and saying hi to the odd girl who passed by that he knew.


Eloho was a bit disappointed. He wanted their parting to be extra-special but apparently it could not be helped. Time was going and he had to be on his way.

“I got to go.”

Henri sighed a little. “Okay, let me see you off then.”

Eloho made to go but turned and poked his head into Henri’s room.

“I’m off,” he said to her roommates.

“Bye!!!” they chorused.

“Chief, I’m off.”

Uche just nodded and smiled at him.


Was that a sneer? Eloho wondered. Nah! His mind was playing tricks on him. Dude was harmless. Henri loved him and no one was going to change that.


The three of them walked to the gates of Moremi. Pedro gave them space as the two love birds stood talking. He expected them to spend a few more minutes for Eloho and Henri were known among their friends for their long goodbyes. Not this time.


“Pedro, I’ll see you later,” Henri said as she turned and walked back into her hostel.

Eloho followed her with his eyes.


“What was that bro?”

“I don’t know o. I wanted to hug and kiss her goodbye and she said no.” Eloho said with some surprise in his voice.

“Really?!” Pedro laughed.

Eloho looked at Pedro. “Yeah, she said she’s shy, you know PDA and all.”

Pedro looked at his friend, “Would this be your first time of hugging her goodbye here?”

The answer was no.

“Look Eloho I’ve seen that guy quite a few times with Henri oh, forming picking her up and dropping her off. You never know but I don’t trust that dude!”


Eloho turned and began to walk away slowly. He was confused; this was not the Henri he knew. Why was she acting strangely? He looked around the car park. Rich kids in their cars and co-eds. He spotted the small pretty girl with her hip-hop boyfriend. He closed his eyes and the events of the last hour or so flashed through his mind. He stood still for a good ten seconds with his eyes closed. When he opened them, he saw red.


Eloho walked up to Mr. Hip-Hop.

“Homez can I borrow your bat for one second please?”

Eloho took the offered bat and headed back into Moremi.

“Eloho wait!!”


“All is fair in love and war.” Those were the words in his ears as he bounded up to room 208. This time he did not knock but opened the door himself. He saw Henri laughing at something funny Porky Pig had said. In four steps he was across the room baseball bat in hand. Roommates made way while Henri and Uche only noticed him at the last moment getting up at the same time.


“Eloho what are doing?!”

“Henri step aside please.”


Henrietta nimbly moved aside as Uche tried to look for a way out. No luck. However Uche’s frantic movements were misconstrued as aggressive as Eloho somehow swung the bat within the tight confines of the room hitting Uche hard on the arm.

Crack! Uche yelled in pain grabbing his arm.

Henrietta screamed.


“Eloho stop!!!"

“No, it’s okay, I just want to ask him a few questions. Ehen, Chief, what exactly are you doing with my girl? Shey you know we are going out….as in we are in an exclusive relationship, dating and all?”

Uche did not answer but glowered in pain.

“You don’t want to answer now abi; you’re forming bad guy?” Eloho ran the bat into Uche’s midsection. As Uche bent over in pain Eloho smashed the bat across his face.

Blood spewed forth.

Henrietta screamed.

The roommates ran out of the room. Pedro ran in and tried to restrain his friend. He had never seen Eloho like this before.

“Eloho please stop! Please!” Henrietta begged.

Eloho turned to look at Henrietta. He dropped the baseball bat and walked towards her as she stood shaking. He reached out for her and she shrank back afraid.

Eloho smiled at her wryly, “I would never ever hurt you Henri. But I needed to teach him a lesson. I couldn’t just stand there and watch him steal you away.” Eloho looked down at the groaning Uche. “He would have if I had done nothing.”

Tears came to Eloho’s eyes and Henri’s heart melted. She grabbed him and held him tight.


“I love you so much Eloho. I swear I do!”

“I love you too Henri,” Eloho responded as they held each other tight as voices of authority approached.

This was the way it was meant to be. Two hearts, first love, forever love.


*********************************************




“Eloho! Eloho!!” Pedro called.

Eloho opened his eyes.

“Did you hear what I just said? He comes around campus with Tope but he’s definitely interested in Henri. I’ve seen them together a few times.”

Eloho shook his head. 

“Nah, it’s cool. She says they are just friends and he’s just being helpful. She can have friends can’t she?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really! I trust Henri.”

“Okay cool, no problem then.”

“Bro I have to head. I’ll see you when next I'm around.”

The two friends hugged each other goodbye.


Eloho got into the cab that would take him to the university gate and from there he would find his way home. Discman in hand, he began to listen to Kim as the taxi carried him and three others to the gate. He would return to Unilag a few more times but that was the last time he would step into Moremi Hall.




Wednesday, 11 April 2012

When She Makes Up Your Mind for You.


I have quite a number of single male friends. I can count the number of my close male friends that are married on half a hand; yes, it is that bad. Sometimes I long to be able to chat with guys in the same boat as I am. So in order to help my situation, I occasionally ask my homies such questions like:
“How far? What’s up with you and that babe?”
“That Tolu babe no bad o! When una dey marry?”
“When are you getting married?”
“Guy you’ve been dating Cynthia for like two years now, when are we coming to eat rice and drink Coke?”
And what do I get in response? ....
“Bro, I’m not ready.”
“Pepper never rest o.”
“Marry who? Cynthia? Nah bruv.”
Even the ones that seem eligible and are in seemingly good relationships repeatedly say things like “I haven’t made up my mind yet”. That line has become the mantra for the single yet eligible guys in Lagos. But in closing that bit of the conversation I always tell them “Guy make up your mind, before she makes it up for you.”
Now some of you (and them) may not get what I mean by “when she makes up your mind for you”, allow me to explain. Now this is no threat but a fact: some guys are under the illusion that they call the shots in eventually deciding to marry a woman. But in some situations, that is not the case. You have been dating this girl for upwards of nine months, you are over 28, and have a good job, a nice apartment with the flat screen TV and PS3. She comes over as often as possible, cooks, cleans and performs other girlfriend and “quarter-to-wife activities. Everyone knows she is your girlfriend – your folks, your siblings, your cousins, friends and boss – but somehow somehow you have no plans to marry her; and when questions are asked as to the wedding date you mumble something in the region of “I’m not quite ready.” The sad thing is very often, many dating couples play this scenario and in the end they break up even after five years of dating. These are the ones my guys see and think that they can still call the shots. What they do not see or deliberately choose not to see are the situations where the women make up the men’s minds for them.
My dear cousin is a bit notorious for being a ladies’ man. He is doing quite well for himself and at 30 thinks that he’s got to live it up and groove until he is ready to settle down. This does not mean that he refrains from serious type relationships. He actually gets involved in serious relationships and all. The first one lasted for about three years and when he broke up with her, we (being the entire family) thought that the next one would be the one. Nay, not so. Cousin of mine began running through women like they were going out of fashion, I tried to get him to focus and all that but he was having none of it. In all other ways he was the epitome of hard work and diligence but when it came to having a good time he lived by his own rules. He then finally got into another serious relationship with another girl and after I met her a couple of times (including Christmas Day dinner at my folks’) I had to ask what his plans were. I got the same non-committed answer. The next thing I heard was that the family had intervened and hooked him up with a young lass from the “area”. I thought to myself that this might just work considering that the family was involved. I followed up with the relevant questions as to the degree of his seriousness. Again I got the same non-committed answer! At this point I had to give him the speech. He nodded and listened and said that he had heard but that he just was not ready. A few weeks later my sister buzzed me saying that girlfriend had gotten pregnant. OK. But how did my sister know? Wrong question! How did everyone know? Girlfriend was not having any of that “let’s solve this problem” option. For her it was not an option because she was under the impression that boyfriend was serious about her and as a result she had duly informed her parents about the situation. Being that family was involved, my cousin could not front. Cross level consultations were held and after a few arrangements, their introduction took place last weekend. I attended the introduction but I could not help but laugh. Serves him right, you might say, because despite all his “I’m not yet ready”, girlfriend had made up his mind for him. But the truth is (if they would ever have the guts to say so) many marriages have been brokered because despite the man’s uncertainty, the woman took in and helped to make up boyfriend’s mind.
Now, I do not mean to present women as being manipulative, in fact, my intention is rather the opposite. A girlfriend getting pregnant for her eligible boyfriend is perhaps just the little nudge or kick in the butt that homeboy really needs. Men are known to be rather indecisive when it comes to things that require a great deal of commitment, especially marriage. Insecurity, fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of losing one’s freedom are common reasons why men hesitate on a formal, legitimate partnership. They say women prepare for marriage right from the age of 18. Men on the other hand, have no age attached to it. All men require is a great deal of maturity and the desire to move to the next step. Only boys would want the milk for free. Mature men would buy the cow and invest in it ensuring that they get excellent milk on a daily basis. Thankfully, many boys mature in marriage becoming men they were afraid of becoming. Unfortunately, a few do not and well, they tend to consciously or sub-consciously blame (or is it dislike) the girl for “forcing” them into that situation. But like I always say, nothing is by force; except someone puts a gun to a guy’s head to get married. I pray my cousin becomes the former by maturing into his marriage. I have not yet met the bride to be but by all indications including a summary from my sister and a look into her Facebook profile, I think she will make a good wife and mother.
So to my homies out there I think it makes you a bit more of a man if you make up your own minds and behave in tandem with your decisions, as against having her make up your mind for you, which believe me she can.


Photo credit: www.essence.com

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

Memories of Being in Love

As Valentine’s Day rolled past I found myself thinking of all the previous Valentines that I ever had. The thoughts strolled past like a slow-motion collage of faces, people, events and emotions. The thoughts eventually became sessions on if I had ever really loved any of the ladies I was involved with at the time. Sure. Of course I had to be in love with them for me to have Val’d them, right? Hang on; let me think about that….

For me loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things; like Beyonce Knowles’ Brown Eyes and Dangerously in Love. Truth is, I have loved a few women but may have actually been in love with only two of them. Doesn’t make sense, does it? Okay, please read me out!

This is just not a case of semantics as some of you may argue, but it is a case of properly defining my emotions. How many of you can remember what it is like to be in love with someone? And no, I am not referring to your ability to love someone. I mean love that makes you break all your rules; the kind that turns you into a hopeless fool? Yes, it is that crazy love that I am referring to; the love that was probably your first (or second) relationship. I do not know how it was for you but I sure know how it was for me.

I was seventeen at the time and without a serious care in the world when it happened. I had just completed secondary school and was trying my best to get into university. I remember feeling on top of the world; like I was the MAN. I mean for a girl like that to ‘agree’ for a guy like me...life could not have been better!

I remember the first time I saw her and thought to myself, “Wow!” I remember the first things she said and the way she walked away. I remember not listening to my friends who said that she was not all that. I remember these same guys telling me how fine she was a few weeks later.

I remember hours spent on the phone, talking about everything and nothing and then dropping the phone to rush a bath and head over to her place. I remember long walks, holding hands and promising my eternal undying love. I remember scouring all the shops and “malls” in VI and Ikoyi looking for that perfect Val’s Day gift. I remember my friends heaving a sigh of relief when I finally found it in some obscure shop along Awolowo Road. Memories of my first kiss still linger, the feel of her lips and the taste of her mouth. I remember feeling woozy whenever she came close to me; the never dying butterflies in my tummy. I still remember her perfume like it was yesterday. I remember swearing that I would not marry someone that did not have long beautiful hair and who was less than 5ft 8 inches tall. I remember having a hole in my heart for the two weeks she had to travel out of town for her grandfather’s burial. How I managed then, I do not know. I remember the midnight calls and ‘tapping’ the phone whenever it was locked. I remember the way my heart would beat whenever she was near; and the way it would sail into the air at the sound of her voice.

I remember trying to explain things to my folks because they did not approve. I was too young they said; and what were we always talking about for hours on the phone? I remember fighting and breaking up for six months and how it tore me apart. Better still I remember making up and promising not to be a jerk again. I remember being far away in university and all I could think about was her. I remember sharing all I knew about life; I remember the way she would look at me full of admiration and love. I remember the day she said I was the best thing that ever happened to her. I remember telling her that I would always love her and knowing that I meant it too! I remember seeing her cry and how it gutted me. How she held my hand and told me she loved me. I remember her telling me that she was seeing some other guy and how she was sorry about it. I remember feeling that I could forgive her anything and doing just that. I remember taking out time before each exam paper to call her to tell her how I felt about her, the paper and all. I remember the letters written back and forth over the years. I remember happiness, joy and a high degree of satisfaction with life.

I remember fighting with my mum who disapproved and not talking to her for a month.

I remember the competition, and how at the time I was too confident to notice him. I remember the night it ended, three years later with the competition being present. I remember the un-replied letters and the unreturned phone calls. I remember the emptiness and the pain and the feeling that the earth had stopped spinning and the world had stopped making sense. I remember the reasons she gave that were excuses really, and then the silence. I remember going about like a zombie without a zeal for life.

I remember swearing I would not let it happen to me again. I remember hardening my heart and dwelling on my pain. I remember becoming insensitive and chauvinistic and un-chivalrous. I remember having a cynical smile whenever she said I love you. I remember putting me first; seeing how it would end just as it was beginning.

I remember trying to pull myself out of the doldrums. I remember finding it difficult to trust her again. I remember not giving my all, swearing that “she won’t do me the same way that she did me.” I remember going through the motions.

I remember growing up and coming out of it and letting my feelings show. I remember trying very hard and having some success with love again. I remember finding other reasons to smile, to laugh and let it all hang out.

In the end, I remember learning how to love someone new with all my heart. Yes, but never quite remembering how to be crazy in love again with all my heart.

Yes, I still remember.