Prose: I Love You, Always

“Loved you yesterday,

Love you still,

Always have, Always will.”

-          Anon

Tonye cruised along Ozumba Mbadiwe Avenue; it was about 8:45pm and the traffic was light that Wednesday evening given the time of day. It had been a hectic day at work at Blue Moon Ad Agency or BMAd as people liked to call it. With a deadline to meet it had been a series of back-and-forth since Friday when the client had dropped an ad-hoc request on them, no notice, no elbow room, nothing. Well he was glad it was over, at least until the next “kati-kati-kati” as he liked to call these unplanned emergency briefs. He looked ahead at the traffic lights as they began to change from green to red. He was two cars away from the intersection. Should he stop or try to beat the lights? He decided on the former, there was no rush. He slowed to a stop as the car in front of him raced on. He looked to his right and saw a construction truck accelerating down the perpendicular Adetokunbo Ademola Street hurrying to beat that ever so quickly changing traffic light.

He turned his head to the left toward the beautifully lit Civic Centre and as he did so he heard the sound of the SUV’s engine and then the screeching of its brakes as it ploughed into his Toyota Corolla from behind. The next thing he knew he was being pushed onto the path of the oncoming construction truck. His foot had been on the brakes and the car in neutral but the brakes of the Corolla were no match for the SUV’s force. The truck hit the right fender of his car and sent it spinning out of control. Tonye said a silent prayer as his body was sent spinning at the same speed and force as his car. He willed the car to stop and just when it seemed that it would he felt another forceful jolt as another car rammed into him. The next thing he saw was blackness.

***************************************

“Tonye”. The voice was familiar.

“Tonye”. He knew that voice. It was female and very reassuring, full of love and earnest hope.

“Tonye”, she called him again.

He opened his eyes and looked up. It was Ifeoma looking down at him as he lay there. She had a look of worry mixed with relief on her face. He tried to smile but immediately felt a bolt of pain everywhere. He tried to call her name as he blacked out.

***************************************

Tonye heard quiet voices. They seemed far away but he guessed that they were nearby. He tried to determine the speakers but could not. Was Ifeoma one of the speakers? He lay still and tried to listen.

“He’ll be fine eventually.”

“Please sir, help him!”

“Don’t worry madam, we’re doing our best and he’ll be well in no time and back to his feet in a few months with the proper physiotherapy.”

That must be the doctor, Tonye said to himself. They must be talking about him. He tried to open his eyes but the light was too bright. A small groan escaped him as he passed out again.

***************************************

“Tonye, Tonye you have to wake up.” It was Ifeoma. “You have to! Stop lying down here feeling sorry for yourself. Everyone is worried because you haven’t woken up.” He felt tired. He needed to sleep some more. Ifeoma should leave him alone. He tried to fall deeper into the depths of sleep-filled bliss.

“Tonye! It’s been three days since the battle to save your life! Wake up my friend!!!” Ifeoma clapped her hands at him and his eyes sprung open. Instinctively he shut them against the bright lights. A throbbing pain erupted in his head. He slowly opened his eyes as the ceiling lights came into view. He lay still for a bit until his eyes grew accustomed to the brightness. He perceived the slight smell of bleach and disinfectant. Yup, definitely a hospital. He moved his eyes around and noticed that his left leg was in a cast and elevated in traction. His head was bandaged and he felt pain on the left side of his body. He grunted and breathed slowly to ease it. He looked around for Ifeoma but she was not in his room. He noticed a clock on the wall. A quarter past nine; but he could not tell whether it was daytime or night time. She should be here waiting for him to wake up or wasn’t she the one that woke him up? He took in his surroundings. He was the only one in the recovery room as the second bed was bare.  He waited. Someone would come soon he thought -  the doctor, a nurse or Ifeoma.

“Ah! Mr. Tonye! You’re awake! Praise be to God Almighty!!” 

Tonye looked to the door, it was a nurse. 

“How are you feeling?” 

He tried to smile. The nurse prodded and checked the dials and monitors and clucked in satisfaction. 

“Let me go and get Dr. Alabi.”

Dr. Alabi was an efficient looking man with a kind disposition. He looked like he knew what he was doing.

“Ah! Tonye, it’s good to have you back. You had us worried for a minute. How do you feel?” 

Tonye tried to speak and his voice came out in a raspy tone. “Matron, please give the patient a sip of water”, the doctor directed. Tonye sipped some water from the offered plastic cup.

“Tired, weak. What happened?” Tonye asked.

“All in good time but you are very fortunate. Thank God for saving you because it could have been much worse.” Tonye closed his eyes as he recalled the screaming of brakes.

“Your internal injuries are healing nicely and you are responding to treatment. The pains and occasional numbness should ease in time. You’re a fit young man and so your body should recover very nicely.” Tonye glance at his leg. 

“Yes, you suffered a multiple fracture on your left leg caused by the second impact, but we’ve set it and put it in a cast. You’ll require a few sessions of physiotherapy once it has healed nicely.” Dr. Alabi offered by way of explanation.

“Again you are a very lucky man. Lucky to be alive; very few people would have survived that bad accident. So give thanks to God.”

Tonye closed his eyes and said a brief prayer of thanksgiving to the Almighty. He opened his eyes and wondered where Ifeoma was. Why wasn’t she here?

As if reading his mind Dr. Alabi said, “Your wife had to go home to rest. She had been here since Wednesday night, for four days. Once we knew you were out of the woods we asked her to go get some rest. We didn’t want her breaking down too.”

Tonye nodded in understanding and closed his eyes. Sleep called.

“Ok young man. We’ll see you tomorrow morning. Matron will check up on you all through the night to make sure you are okay.” Tonye smiled his thanks and fell asleep as Dr. Alabi walked out.

********************************

Tonye opened his eyes slowly as he became fully awake. His eyes hit the clock on the wall. It was 9 o’clock. A.M. he guessed. He looked around the room. The room was empty but there was a woman’s handbag on the chair next to his bed. He looked to the door and he could just make out a woman’s frame through the frosted glass. She seemed to be talking to a doctor. He waited. He suddenly felt sorry for Ifeoma. The whole experience must have been hard and traumatic for her, much more than it must have been for him as he had been blissfully unconscious throughout the ordeal of patching him up. He strained to catch what they said.

“So you’d have to take it easy on him. He should be discharged in a couple of weeks after his injuries have healed nicely. The stitches on his face will be removed in a couple of days or so. Thank God he’s recovered from the concussion, his vitals are almost normal but I think we might have to wait until he can talk well before we give the final thumbs up. And yes, he will have to undergo physiotherapy when his leg is healed. So in all let’s say six to eight weeks.”

Tonye raised his right hand to touch his face. He winced a little as he felt the smarting of his flesh. He continued and traced the outline of the facial stiches on his left temple down to his cheek. Hmmm….Scarface. He then tried to wriggle his toes; those on his right feet responded and the ones on his raised left leg managed a slight response. He then closed his eyes and tried to feel out his entire body, telekinetically testing his parts and organs. 

He opened his eyes and looked at Ifeoma. He could only make out what seemed to be her brown bubu dress. He smiled to himself; that brown bubu dress that she saved for trips to the market or whenever she couldn’t really be bothered with the way she looked. But like he had always told her, the bubu did little to hide her beauty and incredible sexiness. It only made him think of what was underneath it. He felt a faint stirring. He said a quick prayer of thanks as that department seemed to be fine.

He couldn’t wait to go home and to get back to work. He wondered how the office would cope without him. Sola and Vivian could manage he thought, and they could always reach him if they needed him.

“Ah! Mummy! Daddy! Welcome!”

“How is he?” “How is my son?”

“He is recovering very nicely. He regained consciousness last night but now he’s sleeping.”

“Where is he? Can we see him?”

“Of course, we were just waiting for him to wake up.”

It seemed his parents were here. Tonye was sure his mother’s prayers had been what kept him from the bear hug of death. His mother did not joke with her prayers, neither did she joke with her children.

“Shall we go in?” Dr. Alabi said.

Tonye reached for the overhead handle and pulled himself up to a more upright position. He had to look strong for all their sakes, lest they continue to worry. He hoped he looked okay and not too bad. He could not wait to see those who loved him so much, those whose love he craved and needed as much as a drowning man needed air. Their love had made him strong, given him hope and crafted him into the man that he was, the man he needed to be. His parents and his darling wife Ifeoma - Ifeoma that he had loved from the first time he saw her sitting in that classroom all those years ago on the first day of their JAMB lessons. She had become his best friend, his confidante, his girlfriend and then his soul mate. Theirs had been a long and passionate relationship, with the ups and downs and verve that came with young love. It had not been easy but it had been worth it, every nanosecond. She made him happy, like he was the only man on earth and for his part he did his best to keep her on that pedestal that he had placed her on since the first day they met. He hoped he had not frightened her too much. She was tough but he did not like her to be pushed.

His family walked in led by Dr. Alabi.

Tonye smiled as much as he could manage. His mother already had some tears in her eyes as she reached for him gently, “Tonye, how are you?” His father was far more stoic as he walked to his bedside and took his hand. “Son, we thank God.”

Tonye smiled at his parents and then turned his head to see Ifeoma. She stood there before him with tears in her eyes. Tonye had tears in his eyes as well and he blinked to get rid of them.

“Sade, come and hug your husband and let us thank God for his life”, his mother said.

Suddenly, Tonye did not recognise his wife. This was not Ifeoma.

“Who are you?” Tonye said in a raspy voice. “Where is Ifeoma?”

***********************************

Tonye stood in the drizzling rain and looked down at the gravestone before him. He had been standing there for about five minutes trying to make sense of it all. He read and re-read the words engraved on the stone.

Ifeoma Okafor

June 16, 1980 – July 23, 2008

Loving daughter, blessed child

Go with God.

After a while, Tonye limped, cane in hand, towards the car where Sade sat patiently waiting.

There is this girl....

There is this girl. The girl in my dreams. I have never met her or spoken to her but I know that I have seen her and she has seen me and only from a distance. Looking back now I am sure the first time we met was long ago, when I was a kid. But who she is exactly, I am not sure. Over the years I have seen her in other women, bits of her in other girls. Like in the little three year old girl I met at a mutual family friend’s house all those years ago. The little girl who cried when she had to leave me. She threw a massive tantrum and we ended up going with her to her house just to stop the crying. The mothers laughed and made jokes that my three year old mind could not understand. The next time I saw her I was older, 11 to be precise; and it was the last day of primary school and I saw her in my classmate Ada. Ada and I had spent many days together after school doing our homework and keeping each other company until our not-so-prompt parents came to get us from school. She was easily my best friend when it was un-cool for boys and girls to be so. But this is not about Ada; it is about the girl, the girl I saw in Ada when a group of us boys had badgered her into telling the identity of the one boy she really liked in class. Names were called and each time she said “No”. A few of the boys, confident with themselves even mentioned their own names. She laughed and still said “No.” She looked at me at one point, I think daring me to ask if it was me. It was at that moment I saw her again. I never opened my mouth and the one o’clock bell rang.

Being a teenager was more about books than dreaming so I did not see her much; just those rare times where I would see her in my early morning dreams. Saw a bit of her at 17, in a girl I fell in love with. Then a whole lot of her in another girl I fell in love with at 20. Janet did not love me back for another 4 years but when she did I hardly saw her any more, the girl in my dreams that is. I stopped believing in her and admitted to myself that she was not real, and did not exist.

So it was a surprise when one day a few years later, from the corner of my eye, I saw her looking at me. I turned to look at her properly but she was gone. This would happen once in a while. I have tried to put a face to her but it comes to me in snatches of articulation, very briefly like smoke fading away. I would close my eyes and try to remember, to picture her face, her body, her form. Sometimes it would be clear as day but as soon as I would open my eyes it would disappear. I see her sometimes in music videos, silent soul siren with the fizzy hair or curls; in prose, witty conversation and in silent avatars. She is there.

I am convinced she is just a figment of my imagination or a part of my psyche that had been manifested in this way. Perhaps I knew her in another life as a veritable part of me. Or perhaps she is my guardian angel watching over me, a protector. Maybe she is death herself just checking up on me until that appointed day. I may live many many more years, I really do not expect her to be real or to emerge from the shadows or to one day fully become a woman that I would actually meet. But I do know that when the time comes for me to cross from this life to another, on the day death comes for me, the girl in my dreams will be with me, holding my hand, walking in love with me. Of this, I have no doubt.

Film Review: Man of Steel, The Saviour of the World

I approached Man of Steel with a lot of scepticism; indeed my followers on Twitter and members of the movie group I belong to on Facebook (The Movie Smackdown) suffered my cynicism first hand. I harped on the fact that the critics had scored it low and based on the previews I had seen I claimed that Man of Steel borrowed plot lines from every superhero flick out there and that the CGI was painful to look at. I eventually saw Man of Steel after several postponements and my verdict is that it is actually a very good film!

Maybe it was the marketing overhype that we all had to endure for a full year before the film hit the big screen that annoyed me; and perhaps a certain mistrust of the franchise that gave us the sad Superman Returns (2006) that fuelled my suspicions; but deep deep down inside I knew that a team that included Christopher Nolan, Zack Snyder and David S. Goyer could not go wrong.

Man of Steel works as a reboot of the Superman film franchise. The plot immediately brings comparisons with the first two Superman films – Richard Donner’s subliminal Superman (1978) and Superman II (1980) – with the former an origin story and the latter dealing with Earth’s invasion by the insane Kryptonian General Zod and two others. Perhaps it is the benchmark set by these two earlier films and also superhero film fatigue that have stymied its Box Office figures, otherwise Man of Steel ought to reach the billion dollar mark.

Man of Steel was very visually appealing. Although I had earlier criticised the CGI and the supersonic, blurry and darting movements of the Kryptonians as they did battle (reminiscent of the character Dante in Capcom’s Devil May Cry) I have to admit that it lends some realism to the powers that they had. The destruction of Metropolis was on full kilter! It was epic!!! I mean no other superhero film (save 2008’s Hancock) provides destruction at this scale. Yes, this is what you expect to see when two super-humanoids go toe-to-toe. Man of Steel does not hold back and this is very satisfying to see on the big screen, finally a film depiction that is a worthy treatment of the destruction we see in the comics! Satisfying indeed.

The story is told at a good pace, and although the use of flashbacks was probably the best option it sometimes interrupted the flow and the build up of the film.

Thanks to the writers and the director, and great acting by Henry Cavill (The Count of Monte Cristo, Immortals) as Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, we get to see the internal emotional conflict that he endures. Clark’s difference from the rest of us as he struggles with an identity crisis to define who he is, while keeping his abilities secret are brought to the fore. His level of self control is aptly alien as I finally understand why Superman with all his powers still prefers to remain the goody boy scout that he is (also without the goofiness that is supposed to be Clark Kent that we saw in the Christopher Reeves’ films). In addition, in this case, it is his Earthly father, Jonathan Kent (Kevin Costner) out of love for him who instils in him a sense of belonging and self preservation at the cost of his own life. Here I find that Jor-El’s role in the first Superman film has been switched with Jonathan Kent’s, who for different reasons would prefer Clark not to interfere with the human race but fly under the radar. I watched with great shock and morbid satisfaction as Clark Kent finally killed someone so deserving as against locking them up or banishing them someplace as the one in the comics always lamely does. At the point he snaps Zod’s neck you can see the emotions that Clark is going through as he has to take a life to save a billion others, to take a fellow Kryptonian’s life in order to save his adopted humankind. No words can describe that. In the end you find that Clark Kent is more human than he is Kryptonian, more Clark Kent than he is Kal-El or even Superman. He is American through and through, born and raised in Smallville, Kansas.

I looked forward to seeing Michael Shannon (Bad Boys II, Revolutionary Road, Machine Gun Preacher, Boardwalk Empire) as General Zod. For me he was the main attraction. His performance was generally above average, with scenes where we could see glimmers of his madness. But it is my thinking that the filmmakers wanted a less psychotic General Zod, a more intelligent and 3-dimesional one. I was in no way disappointed, all that was lacking was the epic, “Kneel before Zod!!!” But hey, no one could have said that better than Terence Stamp, so why try eh?

Amy Adams as Lois Lane was average. She is the tamest of all the Lois Lane portrayals I have seen. If this was deliberate by the filmmakers, they succeeded. Her connection with Clark/Superman is quite visible and the chemistry holds promise, for she seems to be the first woman that Clark can be with, and perhaps because of the circumstances of their meeting it is the first time he tries.

It was great seeing Christopher Meloni (Law & Order: SVU) on the big screen as Colonel Nathan Hardy and his awesome acting ability showed. More films for him please. Kevin Costner was great as usual and for me his role was pivotal to the understanding of whom Clark Kent was. Diane Lane as Martha Kent was very effective and gave us a more attractive version of Mother Kent. The lovely Israeli actress, Ayelet Zurer’s (Munich, Vantage Point, Angels & Demons) performance as Lara Lor-Van leaves a distinct impression, while German Antje Traue (Pandorum, 5 Days of War) as Faora is a delight to watch. Russell Crowe as Jor-El was great, deep, intelligent and empathic –a welcome departure from the godlike Marlon Brando portrayal.

In conclusion, of immense interest to me were the parallels the filmmakers drew between Clark Kent and Jesus Christ. If I had never noticed it before Man of Steel certainly drew my attention to this. Both are not of this world and are sent from the heavens to save the world.  Like Jesus, Clark was adopted by an earthly father only to connect with his non-physical father later. Both wandered through the wilderness in a quest to discover who they were and to prepare them for the task ahead. Both were in their 30s when they began their work. At age 33, Clark gave himself up to human authority even though he was above this authority, just like Jesus gave himself up to the Pharisees. The US military handed Clark over to Zod just as the Pharisees handed over Jesus to the Romans. Indeed, one can go on and on but at the end of the day one thing is clear: according to Chris Nolan, David S. Goyer and Zack Snyder, and perhaps creators Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, Superman the Man of Steel is the Saviour of the World.

PS: As of 1 July 2013, Man of Steel has grossed over $520mm worldwide in just 17 days since its release.

Film Review: Oblivion - Not Your Summer Sci-Fi Blockbuster, But Darn Good Too.

Oblivion is a science fiction film starring Tom Cruise as Tech 49 Jack Harper whom together with his partner and lover Victoria Olsen - played by Andrea Riseborough - are one of the last teams of drone repairmen tasked with maintaining the drones which protect the continued mining of resources from a now uninhabitable Earth to the new celestial human colony on Titan, a few years after a nuclear war with an invading alien race, called Scavs.

Oblivion directed by Joseph Kosinski and based on his unpublished graphic novel of the same name is simply put a beautiful film. Now I gather quite a few people do not care much for it and I peg this down to their disappointment with respect to what type of film they expected Oblivion to be. This I blame on the trailers/previews of the film as they erroneously led some of us to believe that an action-packed sci-fi thriller somewhere within the realm of Alien was to be seen. However, in my opinion Oblivion is a much more dramatic and sentimental film, with great acting all around. It is a love story of human sacrifice and determination against the not-so-bleak landscape of a post-apocalyptic Earth. Most of the scenes are of a lone Harper as he carries out his duties seemingly without question as he increasingly becomes curious as to his surroundings and the now desolate city of New York and its environs. Added to this is the mystery that is the woman in his dreams (Olga Kurylenko), who now appears to be real as her ship crash lands onto the Earth. Who is she? What is her mission? And who the heck is Morgan Freeman in all this? Oblivion’s brilliantly paced storytelling and visual masterpiece (reminiscent of 2001: A Space Odyssey) settles and unsettles you as you become Harper, watching each scene unfold until its beautiful, climatic and quite dramatic denouement.

Oblivion is a good film and you will find that if you keep your expectations outside the cinema and just watch, you will find that it is a film that you would want to see again and again; well if not for any reason but for its uber brilliant soundtrack composed and performed by M83.

Oblivion released on April 10, 2012 has grossed over $260million worldwide.

Oblivion is currently showing at the Genesis Deluxe Cinemas.

PS: Director Joseph Kosinski, who also directed Tron: Legacy, made Oblivion as homage to sci-fi films of the 70s.

Film Review: Iron Man 3 – All That is Missing is a Cowl.

I saw Iron Man 3 at the Genesis Deluxe Cinemas at The Palms in Lekki. To say I had to force myself to buy the ticket would not be far from the truth because as a general rule I do not see 3D films at the cinema. Why? Because I have never experienced the “oh-so-great” cinematic 3D experience in all the other 3D films I have watched. I pencil this lack of the 3D effect to my prescription glasses over which I don the 3D glasses, resulting in no real difference with or without the 3D glasses. However, for the sake of my date and the desire to see Iron Man 3 I put aside all fears of “wasted” money and went to see the film.

Iron Man 3 in so many ways was waaaaaaaaaaay better than Iron Man 2 which to me was a huge disappointment! Gone was the watery plot as well as the weak villains! Enter a believable post-The Avengers story which dwelt more on Tony Stark the man, than Iron Man the super hero/Avenger, and two hugely believable villains in the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) and Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce). With Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) in mortal danger, Tony Stark had to step out from behind the iron suit to rescue her leaving Col. James Rhodes/Iron Patriot (Don Cheadle) to save POTUS and the nation (read as world).

I am sure the fan boys were very happy with Iron Man 3. War Machine, now Iron Patriot had loads of screen time and we saw almost every Iron Man suit in the books. We also saw the Mandarin, Iron Man’s primary nemesis in the 1990's cartoon TV series wreak havoc on the world. Even though I could see that happening a mile off, the final scenes where Tony pretty much hops from suit to suit were quite good. Fellow film aficionado Kal, remarked that it was also a tad ridiculous; perhaps this was why those of us watching were not as wowed as we should have been – there was no applause as is associated with the Lagos cinema crowd!

The story line like I pointed out earlier was believable and also very familiar. Maybe this was because in this installment Tony Stark had a few similarities with another comic genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist – Bruce Wayne. The scriptwriters, Drew Pearce and Shane Black (who is also the director) must have taken it upon themselves to try and show us that Mr. Stark is almost as bad-ass as Mr. Wayne. Iron Man 3 tries to show us the “great detective” side of Tony Stark where he pieces the puzzle of AIM, Mandarin and Aldrich Killian together in much the same way the original great detective Bruce Wayne would! In addition, Mr. Stark’s snobbery of Mr. Killian in the opening scenes is very reminiscent of Mr. Wayne’s snobbery of Mr. E. Nygma in 1995’s Batman Forever. Likewise, both Mr. Killian and Mr. Nygma, later blessed with superhuman powers, return to exact vengeance on Mr. Stark and Mr. Wayne respectively! And oh yes, their love interests – Ms. Potts and Dr. Meridian – are also both held captive. Also noticeable was the fact that in these two films the sidekick goes on to rescue the president/city while our superheroes rescue the damsels in distress. However, the similarity that takes the cake is where we find that the Mandarin is not the “actual or main” villain, just like Bane was not the “actual or main” villain in 2012's The Dark Knight Rises!!!

Ok, undoubtedly no idea is original, but let us tag Mr. Pearce and Mr. Shane as Batman fan boys.

As always, Guy Pearce’s acting was sublime. He was quite the scary villain with a point to prove (I think). Ben Kinglsey was a hoot and it no longer mattered that he is not Asian. It was good to see Ms. Paltrow on the big screen again. Robert Downey, Jr. was his effective Tony Stark, but with the swag toned down, as it should be since his character is experiencing some form of PTSD. It was great seeing Iron Man and Iron Man 2 director Jon Favreau again on the other side of the lens reprising his role as Happy Hogan, Tony Stark’s PA/bodyguard and head of security.

I found the Christmas setting a bit anachronistic, a more release-date backdrop would have been preferred.

Iron Man 3 is OK fun but the humour and wit is lacking and we get the sense that this was a rush job. The scriptwriters wanted us to see a more human Tony Stark with a few laughs thrown in. His destruction of the remaining suits signalling his retirement from tinkering is also not convincing for we know Iron Man will return. Indeed, Tony Stark gets no realer than the first Iron Man film. Thus, I still regard Iron Man as the best by far of the three. With respect to the Marvel Universe films it also nosedives out of the sky just like Iron Man did in The Avengers for Iron Man 3 does not and cannot keep up with the blast that The Avengers is.

PS: Iron Man 3 has passed the one billion dollar mark at the global Box Office, earning $1,073,861,977 as at May 21, 2013.

PSS: Jon Favreau was an Assistant Director for Batman Forever! Ah! Enlightenment!

Full disclosure: I am an unapologetic Batman fan! And oh yeah, for the first time, I “felt” the 3D effect. J

Image credits: Marvel Studios, Marvel screencap 

Prose: Sarah

Sarah quietly cried as she sat in the middle of their big bed. With tears running down her face, intermingled with catarrh that had overflowed from her filled sinuses, she tried to stifle her sobs by putting her fist into her mouth; but still they escaped. She tried harder for she did not want to wake her three year old son, Jide who was asleep in a corner of the big bed. She was not the only one who was worried about not waking the boy. Her husband Goke was pacing the floor space in the room from end to end, speaking angrily, but in low tones so as not to wake the boy. It was still early and they could have relocated to the living room to talk but the severity, suddenness and sensitivity of the matter at hand prevented them from doing that. Their bedroom was their inner chamber, their sanctuary free from prying eyes and ears.

Sarah sobbed some more as Goke threatened thunder and fire from heaven. She heard the words “betrayal” and the pain seared through her again. The words “forgiveness” offered some respite. So far he had not mentioned “divorce” and for that she was relieved. She clung unto this fact as a drowning man held unto straws.

He had seized her phones – her Blackberry and her Samsung and had gone through her IMs and her text messages looking for proof or as he had hoped the absence of it. Goke had seen their last IM exchange: “Hey, hope you got home safely after a long day”..... "Yeah thankfully the long holiday is here”.... “I have to go. Nanite”..... “Sweet dreams dear”. It appeared innocent, a message between good friends.

Sarah knew he was going through her phones; she had resisted at first but then quickly given up. She had given up the right to her privacy the moment she had opened her mouth. Besides she was sure there was nothing too incriminating to be found for she had been very careful in ensuring that her messages were “Dapo free.” Dapo! As she thought of him, slivers of pain and excitement ran through her body. She sighed.

But she had done the right thing. She told herself this as Goke went on and on. Oh Goke! Her darling Goke! So self-righteous and so proper. He always did what was expected of him, at least in his mind. He worked hard, protected and provided for her and their family, nuclear and extended. So why wasn’t he able to protect her from Dapo? Anyway, he certainly had his chance now, for she had given it to him when she broke down and confessed her sins to him thirty minutes ago.

****************************

Dapo had been at her school. He had been a year ahead of her in the department of computer engineering. A gentle, studious boy she had liked his seriousness and small doses of charm. This was evident whenever he took her class on software engineering.  They had become friends and enjoyed each other’s company whenever they got together. But nothing serious for Dapo was dating a girl in another faculty, Ifeoma, a no-nonsense beauty whom Dapo completely adored. Besides she was sort of betrothed to Goke who was in another institution having pledged her love to him after years of friendship and toasting. Yet somewhere in her mind she knew that perhaps she and Dapo would have been more than just friends if they had both been single at the time. Dapo graduated from school and within a year his relationship with Ifeoma had come to an end. It was news, at least to those who knew them as she had broken things off with him citing long distance. Dapo had pleaded and tried all sorts of ways to get her back but she resisted every one. The wedding invitation that came about a year later was the nail in the coffin. His visits to the school stopped for there was no reason for him to come around anymore. So they had lost touch only to bump into each other two years ago.

Sarah had been trying to buy fuel during one of those panic-buying sessions that Lagosians are known for. It was about 10pm and thankfully Awolowo Road still boasted open filling stations. Work had been tiring and all she wanted was to get fuel and go home. When it got to her turn she asked the attendant to fill her tank only to discover that she had forgotten to withdraw cash from the ATM during the day. What was she to do? While she tried to explain to the attendant not minding the growing impatience of the cars behind hers she heard her name. “Sarah!’ She turned and it was Dapo. He quickly offered to pay for her fuel which she gladly accepted. They exchanged numbers and promised to catch up soon. On the way home she had thought about him. He had filled up a bit so he was not as lanky as he used to be. She had not noticed a wedding band and she resolved to quiz him about it.

They met up a couple of weeks later after work. Goke was out of town and as such she did not have to be home early. Besides work had kept her late, so what was an extra hour going to do to her? They had agreed to meet at a hole in the wall on the Island as they both worked on the Island. He had been waiting for her as she followed the directions he had given her. The place, Joey’s was rather cosy and in a word private, as it was not crowded like the other joints on the Island. The staff seemed to know Dapo as he was treated like a regular customer. She asked him about it and said the place was his hideaway, a place he could really relax after work, a place to contemplate on the meaning of it all and wait out the traffic. Sarah looked around and had to agree. The low music would not give one tinnitus and there were only about two other patrons. They had caught up, laughed a lot and teased each other. Dapo was such a gentleman. He still had that boyish charm and studious seriousness that made her like him. In one moment he could be as goofy as a clown and the very next as serious as a heart attack. They enjoyed each other’s company for a little over an hour and she had to leave. He walked her to her car and gave her a brief hug goodbye. Sarah had felt a little tingle as he held her.

Over the next few weeks, they chatted incessantly, called each other up, and hung out when they could. They talked about anything and everything. Sarah slowly realised that he was becoming important to her for he was taking up space in a place she did not know still existed. Goke was travelling a lot these days and she found herself with some free time. The nanny her mother had sent was very efficient and her younger sister was the responsible sort so she had no qualms leaving Jide with them a little longer a few nights a week. She told herself that they were just old friends who enjoyed each other’s company. She had not broken any laws or crossed any lines. But the way she began to look forward to Dapo’s IMs and calls suggested something else.

Joey’s became their spot. He was afraid to take her anywhere else for fear that they might be seen by people who would not understand and misconstrue things. She did not mind for anywhere with Dapo was just fine. She teased him about the other girls he must have brought to Joey’s. He swore that he had never brought any other woman to the place. “You better not!” she replied and they both laughed. One night she asked him about his being single and he shrugged it off saying that although there were a few women he liked, he had not yet found the right person.

“And what is your definition of the right person?” She looked at him as he defined his Miss Right and the thoughts she had buried deep inside clawed their way into her consciousness – thoughts from all those years ago and more recent ones.

 “Kinda like you”, he ended his definition.

She blushed, she smiled, and she frowned and said, “Kinda like Ifeoma you mean.”

Dapo looked at her with a look on his face that she could not quite place and then erupted in laughter.

 “Yeah right”, he had said. 

That night they held hands as they walked to her car.

The next day she had received a bouquet of yellow roses from him. He had not signed the card but she knew they were from him. Her colleagues teased and congratulated her. Flowers when it was not Valentine’s? Her husband was a correct guy! That evening they got to Joey’s but stayed in her car. She thanked him for the flowers but he tried to deny sending them in his usual pseudo serious-goofy manner.  “Flowers ke? Do I even know where they sell flowers? Maybe it was your hus...” She had cut him off with a kiss. Where the kiss or the idea of kissing him came from Sarah did not know but she kissed him like it was the natural thing to do.

Dapo kissed her back with almost equal fervour. When they pulled apart, a thousand thoughts ran through her head: “What have I done?!” “What does this mean?!” “Sarah you have messed up!” They sat in silence and as she moved to break the silence, Dapo kissed her. He kissed her slowly and deliberately as if he was trying to come to terms with her mouth, to get to know her better. She held her breath as the stirrings that she had previously suppressed bubbled to the fore. He pulled back to break the kiss but she placed her hand behind his head and pulled him to her.

That night as she drove home she shook a little. Goke had called earlier but she had missed his call. She called him back explaining that her phone had been on silent and she had not felt the vibrations. She prayed that he had not heard the trembling in her voice. He had not.

Dapo invited her over to his flat that he shared with a friend. But she refused. She did not want to take any more risks or chances. Being alone with him in public was a lot safer than being with him alone in private. They still hung out when they could. Her days were interspersed with his calls, IMs and messages. He made her laugh and always presented a listening shoulder as they talked about work and its challenges. She never talked about Goke and apart from the first time he had enquired about him Dapo never asked. They now spent more time in their cars than they did inside Joey’s. Although they never crossed the line they made out like teenagers on long vacation. Lord! She wanted him! But she knew she could not cross that line. Inasmuch as she liked Dapo she could not bring herself to do that which would be the ultimate betrayal. It was fine as long as she did not sleep with him, she told herself.

Then they had gotten into a misunderstanding. One night Dapo had questioned her about their relationship and what she wanted from it. She had no answer and he seemed a little impatient and irritated. She then told him that she had no expectations or demands given their situation. To this Dapo did not say a word and abruptly ended their time together. Later on he sent her a message saying that he was not sure he could continue with what they were doing, that it seemed rather pointless. She felt hurt but she had to agree. He wanted to remain friends. She did too.

The friendship lost its intensity after a while. They still communicated but it was more civil and less passionate. Goke was travelling a lot less and they spent more time together. Her marriage was going on well. Then she bumped into Dapo at the airport. She was on her way out of town on a business trip and the taxi had just dropped her when she saw Dapo striding towards her. Her heart skipped a beat. They exchanged pleasantries and he explained that he had just got in from Abuja. He left her with a hug that she felt until she landed at Enugu. That evening she buzzed him on his BlackBerry. They chatted for a bit, catching up and then he sent “I miss you”. She responded with “Sigh” and turned off her phone. She did not sleep well that night.

She returned to Lagos and had a fight with Goke. They made up that night and as they lay in each other’s arms her thoughts suddenly turned to Dapo. She remembered his kisses, slow and deliberate and she trembled. She wanted Goke to kiss her that way. She stopped him and told him to take it slow. Goke got ticked off and wondered why he had to suddenly change his technique. She quickly waved it away and assuaged his feelings lest another fight be had. As she lay in bed later she knew she had to see Dapo.

She had called him when she knew he would be winding down for the day and asked to see him. They met at his office car park. He got into her car and she started with small talk as he waited patiently for her to really talk. She told him that she missed him a lot and although things were seemingly pointless, she wanted things to go back to the way they were. She told him about how he filled her thoughts and waking moments, how her body felt whenever she recalled his kisses and his touch, his smell, heavy breathing and inaudible sighs. Dapo looked at her and when she was done, he moved across and held her tight.

A few weeks later after a Saturday spent at the office she went to his place. He had suddenly invited her over and she had agreed. His roommate was out of town and so they could be alone. This time with Dapo had been a culmination of months of wanting and desire. All the kisses and touches were finally allowed to build up steam and erupt in a taking that established full knowing. She had made love to Dapo like she had always imagined. She had taken him in, riding him ever so slowly as she introduced her body parts to his as he did his to hers. She wanted him to feel every inch of her as she felt every bit of him. She explored his not so lean and muscular frame, touching and teasing and knowing; and when she could not take the intensity any longer she made up for all the time spent in their cars. It was beautiful. An hour later as she drove home a smile stayed on her lips and knot developed in her chest. Would Goke notice? Could he tell that his darling wife had been unfaithful? He was not at home when she got back. She thankfully ran into the bathroom and removed all would-be traces of her sins. The physical ones yes, the mental ones no.

Dapo broke their rule and sent her an IM, asking how she was. She chided him for buzzing her while she was home but answered that she was fine. His message kick-started an instant replay of their time together. She wanted to see him again. No, she wanted him again. Goke came home and her mind began to play tricks on her. Could he see it in her eyes? Or could he smell another man on her body? She had showered and washed her underwear but still she wondered. As he lay on top of her later that night, he stopped for a moment, looked into her eyes and said “I love you Sarah.” The knot in her chest increased geometrically. She did not respond but kissed him, urging him on.

Sunday service made things worse as the pastor decided to preach on adultery and fornication. What awful timing! She thought. She managed to zone out as he spoke but the knot had gotten bigger. She had to assuage the growing feelings of guilt. She needed an outlet. She threw herself into her work the first few days of the week trying for a distraction but Dapo’s messages were beginning to get to her. She had to talk to him. She buzzed him saying that she felt a bit guilty and he said he felt the same way. He offered to give her space but she rejected it saying that she needed to see him so they could talk. Her mind troubled her as she remembered her vows and promises.

They met at Joey’s a few nights later and had a drink. Dapo tried to assuage her feelings and he succeeded. Just being with him made everything else seem so secondary; he made sense to her. They left Joey’s and she got into his car suggesting that they drive around and talk some more. Dapo drove aimlessly and after a few turns parked the car. Sarah turned to him and kissed him with a need she did not know was there. Dapo kissed her back and her head began to swim. She felt and responded to his touches and she wanted more. They found themselves in the back seat as she sat across his laps. She hiked up her skirt and unzipped his trousers. Dapo froze for a second as she set him free. She guided him inside her and she rocked back and forth, up and down as her body sang with joy. What was she doing?! Having sex in a car by the side of the road?! She pushed those thoughts out of her mind as her body took over, the absence of a condom this time multiplying the feelings. Before long Dapo moaned her name as he approached the edge and tried to push her off him. She grounded her pelvis against his one last time as he began to climax. She jumped off him as he finished what he had started.

They had hurriedly cleaned up as best they could as cars passed by. They held each other. “I can’t do this”, she said as she breathed him in. “Did you come inside me?” He was not sure. “I have to get to a pharmacy.” She rearranged her blouse and checked her skirt; it had lost a few stitches. Dapo pulled her close and hugged her. She eventually pushed him away and asked him to take her to her car. She kissed him good bye and drove home.

The days that followed were agonizing for her. Her trip to the pharmacy was for her the walk of shame. She took the pill and hid the other one in her bag. She did not use pills as Goke used a condom whenever she was “unsafe”. She got home and Goke was waiting. She gave a work excuse for coming home late and she ran to the bathroom to take off her clothes and have a bath. She kept thinking that her bag would fall and spill its contents. So she kept it in her wardrobe. She claimed a headache and went to bed knowing she would not survive Goke’s presence. At work the following day she kept her bag close to her and escaped to the restroom to take the second pill. She satisfied herself that she had done the needful but she had lost all sense of comfort. She wanted to reach out to Dapo but she restrained herself. Buzzing Dapo would not be a good idea as that would only awaken her desire for him. She needed space, she needed to think, she needed to talk to someone but there was no one she dared speak to about this. Dapo had entered her subconscious, her psyche and she knew it would break her. They had no future, just fleeting moments. She had no real reason to end her marriage. Did Goke not love her? Did he not provide for her? On the other hand she did not love Dapo...or did she? She loved so many things about him and the way he made her feel, but did that mean that she loved him? Dapo. Dapo. Dapo. He had unsettled her, shocked her system without any real effort. But really it was all that time spent with him, dwelling on the times spent that was her undoing. Yes, she had always liked him, admired him but from afar, which was a little acknowldgement of the nice person he was but not this dragon that had been unleashed. He had become known to her and she admired him even more, wanting to be with him all the time, wishing things that could never be uttered. The guilt was tearing her apart, things she had done and things she was sure she would do again. But how to end all this pain, this dissonance that bent her mind and set her heart against her being?

She decided in a fevered daze to make her confession to her husband Goke. She needed to be able to breathe again for air it seemed was choking her. The voices needed to stop and they would only stop if she talked. Talking to a third party was not her style. She had often marvelled at people who consulted shrinks and counsellors. She could never bring herself to wash her linen in public. So she opened her mouth and spoke, confessing her infidelity to her husband and with each word said she felt a loosening of the knot in her chest, the settling of the voices and the dissipation of dissonance.

Goke said nothing at first, and then as what she said sank in he flared up fighting hard to control himself as Jide lay sleeping in their bed. Besides he did not want to alert the nanny and his sister in-law. Could Sarah be joking? He looked at her and her sobs and tears told him it was not a joke. How long had this been going on?! He had been such a fool.

Sarah lay in her bed all day. Thankfully her sister sensing that something was not quite right had taken Jide out. Goke had disappeared angrily storming out of the house taking her phones with him. She felt a little afraid. What would Goke do? What would he decide? She thought and worried for hours until he came back. She thought of Dapo and sighed. She closed her eyes tightly and wished him away out of her thoughts.

Goke returned late in the evening and after spending sometime in front of the television in the parlour, he spoke to her. He went on and on about how she had betrayed him, how she threw his love and her marriage in the gutter for another man. He asked for details, he wanted to know things that she could not bear to tell him. He paused and changed his mind. He knew all he needed to know. But did he? He needed to know if she still loved him and if she still wanted to be with him. She cried that she did and that her breach of trust would never repeat itself. She begged him invoking the name of the Lord. Goke listened and thought hard when she was done. He loved his wife and he had made vows. He knew the kind of person she was and was sure that her confession was done out of remorse and penitence. She had done wrong and she had admitted it, subjecting herself to his love and mercy and whatever punishment that might follow.

Goke reeled out a list of instructions and commandments that she was to follow. He gave her back her phones and told her that he had spoken to Dapo. Her heart skipped a beat. He had put Dapo in his place and told him of her confession. He went on to threaten him. The little boy had disconnected the line after a flurry of protestations. She nodded her head in understanding. She was grateful for Goke and she swore she would love and obey him for the rest of her life.

A month later as she closed from the office and hurriedly walked to her car so as to meet the curfew Goke had imposed she saw Dapo walking towards her. Her heart caught in her chest and she walked faster. He called out to her hurrying to catch up. She stopped to face him. He looked older and she could tell he had not been himself. He tried to apologise like he had once tried to do on the phone before she disconnected the line. She had deleted and blocked him from her BlackBerry and although she deleted his number, she still would recognise it each time he tried to call her. She brushed his apologies off and told him that it was ok and that he had nothing to apologise for since it was all her fault. She should have behaved better. She sniffled. He looked sad as he enquired if Goke had hit her. She shook her head saying he was not that kind of person.

“I can’t see you again Dapo, ever. I made a promise to my husband and to myself. I can’t see you again.” Dapo looked like he was about to cry. “Ok but can I call you once in a while to know how you are? How you are doing?” She shook her head again. Goke had begun to monitor her calls and whereabouts, something he had never done before. He was taking no chances. She opened her door and Dapo made to touch her. Sarah shrank back and said, “Dapo don’t!” She got in wound down and said, “Just leave me be Dapo. We can’t work. I cheated on my husband with you! I almost threw away my marriage for you!”

“But why did you tell him?”

“To rid myself of you! Don’t you get?”

Dapo looked lost.

“I will nearly always be attracted to you. I swear I don’t know what you did to me but I will always want you and I can’t.”

A tear rolled down her face.

“I did the right thing Dapo, please let me do the right thing.”

Dapo nodded ever so slightly and stepped away from the car. She looked at him and gave him a sad little smile. Sarah pulled out of the car park and headed towards the Mainland. She sobbed quietly as she drove home.

The End.

Prose: Urenna

Urenna stood by the roadside. She was tired as she had been standing for almost four hours. The night was rather slow. She blamed it on the time of the month. It was mid month and the middle of the month was always a bad time for business. Disposable income would have decreased considerably from the end of the previous month. But what did hunger care about such things? Indeed her stomach must be fed first before all else.

A draft of cool night air hit her as she manned her corner. She inhaled cigarette smoke along with the night air. Not so fresh. She hated cigarettes. Nasty, filthy things! But in her line of work she had no choice for the men and women she worked with liked their tobacco. Cigarette smoke reminded her of all that was said to be bad and evil. She had been brought up amid the chaos that was her childhood by a strict catholic, Mr. Ikechukwu, the district catechist superintendent. No, Mr. Ikechukwu was not her father. How she wished that was the case but the catechist was just that, a catechist; who had warned her and her peers about the dangers of alcohol and cigarette smoke when she was younger, not so many years ago. If only he could see her now. Urenna laughed inwardly.

A car appeared from around the corner and Urenna changed position. She stood facing the road, perpendicular to the approaching head lights. This position gave the occupants of the car a profile of her body, her precious asset. Then as the car moved closer, she turned away and gave a view of her backside. At the last moment she turned again, facing the car while bending to greet the occupants giving them a winning smile and a view of her significant chest. The car drove by and slowed down to a stop. Ope o!

Urenna walked briskly to the car – a black Honda – to ward off the other girls. Na me get this one! She said to herself. She got to the car in time.

“Hi!” she said to the front seat passenger.

“Hello!” the men in the car replied.

She took a look into the dimly lit interior of the car with its dashboard and stereo lights offering very little illumination. There were three occupants, the driver, the front seat passenger and another at the back. She hesitated. Inasmuch as she really needed to get customers for the night she was not sure she wanted three men but she waited to hear what they had to offer.

“What’s your name?” Front seat passenger asked.

“Jessica”, Urenna replied with a sweet smile.

“Hmmm...Jessica! That’s a nice name,” front seat passenger said.

Idiot.  If only he knew that half of the girls along the street had christened themselves Jessica!

“Awww, thanks!” she said in her most American-movie-flavoured accent.

The inside of the car smelt nice. In fact it smelt like these men might have some good money.

“So you look very nice,” front seat continued. Urenna flashed a winning smile.

“Oya! How much?” the driver asked impatiently.

“Depends of what you want. Is it all night or short time and for how many of you?”

“If it is more than one person, I am available!” a voice rang out from behind Urenna.

Vultures! Urenna thought. They would not allow someone to progress. She recognised the voice as Blessing’s. Well to be fair to her, Blessing had sometimes involved Urenna in some of her prospects. Urenna had sometimes returned the favour but she needed to be sure of what was going down.

“Erm, how much is all night?” driver enquired.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Erm, Ikoyi.” Driver responded.

Hmmm....these Ikoyi boys! They may have money but were not to be trusted and were quite stingy too! She paused and then asked them to put on their inner light.

“What for?” driver asked.

“So I can see your faces na! How do you expect me to get into a car with three men I don’t know?”

Driver and front passenger consulted each other briefly and turned on the car’s inner lights.

Mscheeeew! Urenna cursed loudly. These were not men but small boys barely out of their teens! Driver whom she was sure was a Yoruba boy because of his dark skin and looks seemed like the oldest of the lot and he could not have been more than nineteen. The quiet one at the back in glasses she was sure was seventeen or even younger. No way! These boys, children of rich parents sure had money but had no respect for it and quite ironically would want to pay the barest minimum for the services that women like her offered. Mba! No! She recalled what happened to one of the girls who had followed two of these Ikoyi boys in their car and had ended up in a BQ with four waiting boys! Poor girl had had to scream, shout and claw her way out of there! Cheapskates! Instead of them to have been upfront about how many they were, then she would have gone with two other girls at a bargain price. But no, these small boys wanted to have their cake and eat it.

“You are small boys! I don’t do small boys!” Urenna shouted, moving away from the vehicle.

“Ah! What do you mean?!” passenger seat retorted.

“Come first, we will pay you good money!!” driver added.

Urenna laughed. “Blessing o! Come and see the small boys wey wan fuck!”

Blessing moved in for a closer look. She laughed, “These ones neva finish secondary school o! Hahaha! Now run along to your mummies and go return daddy’s car.”

“Mscheeew!! Ashewo!” driver lashed out.

“Ehn thank you! As you get home please call your daddy for me! I will fuck him for free sef!” The ladies laughed as the deflated boys zoomed off to try their luck elsewhere.

“No mind these small boys jor! When you come reach, do finish, dem no go wan pay you complete money. Their wahala too much!” Blessing ended as she walked back into the shadows.

Urenna sighed. She hoped she would get a customer soon. It was getting late and the odds were rising against her. She hoped for a customer that would take her home. Those ones were preferred as she got to sleep in a bed as against standing for long and sleeping on the road or in smelly taxi cabs. She looked at her cheap watch. 2am. Sigh. Even a couple of short-time customers would make sense now. She waited impatiently.

A jeep cruised by ever so slowly. She took position and waited for it to stop. It drove slowly as the occupant eyed the ladies of the night, taking them in.

“Oga stop now!” Urenna called.

The driver did not stop but zoomed off. Alu! She cursed.

She waited a few more minutes and was just about to resign her fate to an unsuccessful night when a car appeared. It was a Toyota Camry, one of the new ones; very sleek, very shiny in the poor street light. She hoped it was not a driver because these drivers were funny. They were not so much better than her but they tried to appear better off. But not all drivers though, some were nice and kind like that Tony. He had been very nice to her, sometimes just visiting her without wanting to have sex. They would gist for a couple of minutes before she would chase him away for scaring away potential customers. She had even given him a couple of free rounds. She liked Tony; small sha. And she missed him. His oga had been transferred to Abuja and she had not seen him in months.

The Toyota stopped right in front of her. The driver rolled the window down and the cool air from the air conditioning hit her face.

“Hi!” Urenna said, turning on the charm.

“Good evening” the driver responded.

They conversed for about a minute and Urenna said her goodbyes to Blessing and got into the car. She thanked her stars as the sleek car pulled away. She would definitely sleep on a warm soft bed tonight; and if she did well she would probably get a performance bonus in the morning. Her customer did not look like or sound like the stingy type. In fact he looked “safe”. She thanked her stars again and crossed herself as the car picked up speed and headed towards Lekki.